Steps made to become more
by 1 FANtastic
Summary: It's just a revamped version of another one of my stories. Christin and Ana are young. Ana is a freshmen while he's a senior. They build a close friendship. They question is could they every be more. PLEASE GIVE IT A TRY. AND IF YOU ALREDY READ THE ORIGINAL STORY YET YOU STILL CHOOSE TO READ TO SEE THE NEW CHANGES, I LOVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
1. Chapter 1

`Chapter 1

Breath Ana Breath. No matter how much I try to stay calm I fail. I know it's perfectly normal for me to be scared my first day of high school, surely I shouldn't be this scared. Thank god I have Kate, my best friend and the closest thing I have to a sister. Unlike me Kate isn't scared, she is focused and determined to achieve every goal she has set out for her self. What are those goals you ask? Oh it's your typical teenage girl hopes and dreams like Become head cheerleader, most popular, make placement for advance classes and ace all of them.I know what your thinking, she's just a freshmen, If you knew Kate you would know if any freshmen could achieve these goals it would be her.

"Ana banana are you ready to rock this school with our kick ass personaltys and hot as all out door bodies" What body do I have? And as for the personalty I would say I'm a nice person, far to shy to be half as outgoing as Kate.

"Kate please don't call me that"

"Sorry old habits die hard. We have to go and get our rosters"

Walking around the high school I become less scared. It's almost like my junior high school just bigger. It takes me and Kate forever to find the office. The very rude and much older women ask a million questions before deciding we can finally have our rosters. Wait this can't be right.

"Excuse me Miss, I think you gave me the wrong roster." The more I study the paper I'm pretty sure this roster is meant for a senior.

"And why would you say that?" Wow I didn't think She could sound even more annoyed.

"Well this has Senior classes, I'm a freshmen"

"No Miss Steele your roster is correct. Of course you don't have all senior classes but you do have a senior english class, advanced algebra and biology class"

"I'm sorry I don't understand" Surely my confusion is completely unstandable.

"It's simple, your grades from your junior high school show that you weren't being challenged, upon request of your mother we gave you a few advanced classes. Now if you don't mind I have to get back to work" Without so much as directions to my first class, she resumes her work. Of course my mom would request advanced classes for me. I think she means well. I just want to be with the rest of the kids my age. Speaking of kids my age where the hell is Kate? Oh well my first class is a senior class anyway. I guess I'll just got to the forth floor and search for class 420. I'm walking and walking and walking GOD DAMN IT! why are there so many steps. Not really paying attention I bump into a couple making out. _if you want to call it that_. The girl looks scared and embarrassed so she takes off but the boy well lets just say he isn't happy.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?"

Holy crap he is cute with the most interesting grey eyes I have ever seen. If he wasn't yelling at me and scaring me half to death I would swoon.

"Um I... " Great Steele go speechless, that doesn't make you seem like a weirdo at all.

"Just forget it"

He storms off and I find myself following him. It's not like I want to follow him, my class just so happens to be this way.

"Are you following me or something little girl?" Is he talking to me? Wait little girl?

"Excuse me? I'm not a little girl" That's right Ana stand up for yourself.

"Well what are you? and why are you following me?"

the nerve of this guy. Okay he is handsome but that doesn't mean I'm following him like a stalker.

"For your information I'm a freshmen. I'm not following you I'm going to class"

Yay 1 point for me. Not only did I tell him off but I also made it to class. I know it might sound crazy but I loved the way his voice sounds. If I close my eyes I can still hear it , it sounds so close.

"Hey freshmen, is this seat taken?"

I'm broken from my daydream by the voice that I so happen to be daydreaming of. Crap! point 1 for the universe.

"Oh I'm, I'm sorry No it's free " Double crap, again with the stuttering Pull it together Ana you just told this guy off.

"Is it okay if I sit here?" God give me strength. I nod my head and bite my bottom lip to calm my nerves. He just looks at me for a while, so I look back not really caring if people are looking at us. In those few moments something happens. I don't know what, I have the strangest feeling that this is the start of something, what I'm not sure but something none the less. Then the fact he was basically dry humping a girl on the stairs makes me want to never look at him again. So I turn around and pay attention to the teacher who just walked in.

"Good morning class I'm Mr. Hyde and this is Advanced algebra. Lets take time to welcome our one and only freshmen ,Anastasia Steele"

Are you serious? Who wants to be pointed out the first day of school? I blush on que ,and say hey to the few people that wave to me.

"So class look around and try to remember where your seated, theses seats will be yours for the rest of the year"

Okay that doesn't seem to bad. I could be sitting next to somebody that smells but i'm not, I'm sitting next to the sexiest guy I've ever seen. Just then he leans over and says.

"Well Anastasia, this is going to be an interesting school year"

To say my first class was a nightmare would be a understatement. I kept hearing everyone whispering about me and Christian, the fact that Christian kept looking at me didn't help either. It was weird but in a way, I liked it. I know nothing will ever come out of it, a girl can dream. I have my next class with Kate thank god for that. I hear her before I see her typical Kate.

"Oh my god, Ana I heard you and that Grey guy had the hots for each other"

"WHAT? I just meet him."

"That doesn't mean you don't have the hots for the guy."

Leave it to Kate to jump to conclusions. I can't believe people are spreading these lies and it's only second period.

"Kate you know me better then anyone, does it sound like me to have the hots for someone?"

As if really thinking about it she finally comes to her senses.

"Now that you put it that way, I guess not."

God that was close. The last thing I need is for Kate to try and play cupid. My second period class is way less eventful but what did I expect from social science. Every once and a while I catch some of the girls giving me a nasty look but I really couldn't care less. Once That class is over I decide to talk to my mom before lunch. I make my way to the guidance counselor's office. I get stopped by some guy I seen in Mr. Hyde class.

"Um, I know you probably don't know me but my name is Jose, we have first period together."

"Yea I think I seen you in there, I'm Ana."

"I know this is going to be weird, I wanted to know if you wanted to be my partner in Algebra class" I hate to tell him no, mailnly because he seems nice but I have a partner.

"I already have a partner ,so I don't know how that would work" I try to giggle to soften the blow.

"I know, It's just that the girl I have as a partner is dying to work with Christian"

I don't know why but I think I might be angry. _Wait pull it together Ana you don't want him remember_.

"Well if you ask and he says ok I'll be fine with that"

I guess he's really happy about working with me because he hugs me as if he won the lottery and with that he's gone. Well that was weird but surprisingly comforting. Now what was I doing? oh yeah going to see my mom. I can't believe I have to wait out side her office just to talk to my mom but hey what can you do? I waiting for all of 2 minutes when I see Christian walk by with his arm around some girl with blonde hair. I guess he changes his girls in between classes, the thought makes me laugh out.

"What is so funny freshmen?"

Crap the last thing I wanted to do was get his attention.

"Oh sorry I didn't mean to laugh out loud" He removes his arm from the blonde and she walks off looking not so happy.

"What are you waiting out here for?" He takes the vacant seat next to me.

"You ask lots of question for someone I barely know" Well the nerve of me. I don't know where that came from.

"Well freshmen we're going to be Partners for the rest of the year so I think we should get to know each other"

And then he does the most magical thing and smiles. It's not just any smile, it's a smile that makes you smile and so I do.

"For your information we're not going to be partners for much longer"

An emotion flashes across his beautiful face, It's gone before I could grasp I didn't know any better I would say he was upset about not being my partner.

"What do you mean we're aren't going to be partners?"

"Well that Jose guy said his partner wanted to be your partner, in more then one way I'm sure"

Double crap, I meant to say that to myself.

"freshmen are you jealous?" He looks as if he wants to bust out laughing.

"Jealous of what?"

"Jealous that some one wants me...as their partner in class I mean" There goes that damn smile again.

"Well that depends Christian, are you jealous that someone wants to be my partner in class?" Without missing a beat he says.

"Yup freshmen, I am"

What? wait I have to be hearing things. Did he just say What I think he said. I don't know what to say I don't know what to do, so I just sit still like a idiot.

"Well freshmen, I guess I'll see you at lunch "

Breath Ana Breath. Don't pass out Don't pass out. I know it might sound crazy but I think he likes me. Now that I say it to myself it does sound crazy. I still stuck to my sit when I notice Mr. Hyde strolling out of my mothers office. I barge in startling her a little bit.

"Hey mom, I just wanted to know why you wouldn't tell me about the classes you requested for me." She seems nervous. I watch as she plays with the name plate on her desk that reads _Carla Steele. Guidance counselor._

"Ana, I thought If you passed your advanced classes maybe you could graduate earlier then we can move. I can't stay in Seattle much longer. I thought we could move and start over." I hate that my mother is unhappy but I don't want to move, then I'll be unhappy.

"Listen mom, You have a family who loves you and a great job, why are you so unhappy?" She stands up straight and collects herself.

"Anastasia, I'll talk to you another time. Now if you'll excuse me." I walk out of my mothers office completely shocked that she just dismissed me. I walk in the direction of the lunch room, desperately looking for Kate. I spot her entertaining the masses.

"Hey Ana Please tell me you missed me just as much as I missed you"

"Yes I did and then some, but I really need to talk to you"

We sit down and eat lunch while I tell her what happened with Christian before I get into what happened with mom. she doesn't interrupt or put in her two cents and for Kate this is a first.

"Wow Ana so do you like him?"

"I don't know Kate. Yes he is cute but he's a senior, not just any senior, He is _The senior_ how can he possible want me?"

"Ana you are the kindest person I know with A face and body to die for, he would be lucky to even have you glance his way, so don't think that he is to perfect for you"

Leave it to Kate to make me feel better. I can be his friend without it being weird right? Just then we see two girls fighting. I watch in awe as these two girls pull ,scratch and push for victory. And just as it's getting really violent Christian comes and breaks it up.

"Christian I will not go threw another Year of this bitch " The one with the blonde hair says. Now that the two girls aren't trying to kill each other, I notice that I've seen Christian with both of those girls today.

"Elena she doesn't mean a thing to me, it's you I want. It has always been you"

This is so dramatic for high school. I think to myself, the kiss they both plant on each other makes me want to throw up in my mouth. I see now that Christian doesn't want me, he just want every girl. I was foolish to think he wanted me. Well it was fun while it lasted. I go about my day trying to keep my mind off of Mr. playboy only to find out I have all of my senior classes with him. He constantly looked at me , I couldn't bring myself to look back and when he sat next to me in Biology I made sure to change my sit before I could get stuck with him again. Besides that the rest of the day goes on without a hitch, that is until me and Kate are About to leave I hear a very loud and very angry Christian.

"Freshmen, wait up"

I stop. Only because I know he will follow me and I might as well hear what he has to say.

"What is it Christian?" Damn it, I really wasn't trying to sound angry.

"Mr. Hyde just told me your not my partner anymore"

"Well I told you Jose was going to ask him to change my partner partners"

"Yea I know, I just thought you wanted to be my partner"

"Christian I think you have way too many partners" I'm determined to leave, he just keeps talking.

"Ana look I like you. I thought I made that clear"

Oh my god! NO STEELE HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND.

"Christian I like you to but as a friend. You have someone and I don't want to be just another random girl you make out with on the stairway. I'm a freshmen and Your a senior, we will never be more then classmates"

"Ana wait, I don't know why I like you, I just do. I never really thought about our ages. If you want to be friends that's fine."

wow Christian Grey wants to be my friend I can't believe it. Not so bad for my first day.

"Are you serious? you want to be friends with a freshmen?"

"Well not just any Freshmen. I want to be friends with the prettiest and smartest freshmen" Just keep the compliments coming. I pretend to think it over before I give him my answer.

"Well I guess we could do that "

I giggle a little because this is so weird. I mean I like that he wants to be friends. I hate that I kind of feel something for him. I don't know what it is but If we're ever going to be real friends I can't explore these feelings. I think about Christian all the way home. Friends with Christian Grey ,that could be interesting. Lets just see how long this friendship last. My dad is pulling up in the drive way when I get home.

"Hey Annie how was the first day?"

"We really need to talk about mom. I think she might be doing it again" I watch my dads smile fade.

"Okay we'll talk about her . But first tell me if you've made any new friends?"

"Yes dad, I made a new friend that I don't intend on letting go"


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to everyone who reads my story. some of you have been asking for the back story so here it is. Ana is 15 Christian is 18. Elena is also 18 so no there is no BDSM. My story will have some time jumps after this chapter. But don't worrie Ana And Christian will always be in each others life. I hope I cleared some things up for you but If you have any questions please feel free to ask me.**

Chapter 3

**_1 month later_**

Well Jose kept his word, Mr. Hyde switched my partner the second day of school. At first I was a little worried but I've found a true friend in Jose. Although I suspect Christian might like his new partner way more then I like mine. Whenever I look in the back of the class, the two of them are constantly looking at each other with lust in their eyes. I try not to think about it, I have no right to be jealous, Christian and I are friends. I love our friendship, we can be goofy together and he's there when I need him. Elena on the other hand, doesn't like it and nobody seems to understand why we're close. Christian and I enjoy each others company, That's all that matters to me. I still like him more then I should, but what female wouldn't. I also respect that fact that he's in an relationship and that happens to be one of the things he likes about me.

"Hey freshmen!" I hear his voice boom down the hallway. _speaking of the devil._

"Will you ever stop calling me that?" Don't get me wrong I love that he has a nickname for me, but of all the names he picks ,FRESHMEN.

"Of course I will, when you're no longer a freshmen." laugh it up grey.

"Did you want something, or did you just feel like being a pest"

"Wow freshmen ,is that how you think of me?"

"If only you knew how I think of you Christian"

There is silence for a moment and I take time to think about what it would be like as his. STOP IT ANA,YOU ARE HIS FRIEND. That ever-present voice in the back of my head reminds me that I could never be more than a that.

"So what did you want Christian?"

"um. Oh yeah we're having a slumber party"

What? I have to be hearing things.

"A slumber party? what are you 12? and who exactly is we?"

"You can laugh all you want but The Grey boys slumber parties are legendary" I want to go I just don't want to be the only freshmen there.

"Who will be there?"

"You know, mostly the upper classmen."

"I think you forgot that I'm still a freshmen"

"I haven't forgotten I just really want you there"

"I don't know. I'll think about it" I'm flattered that he invited me, I just don't think he understands how it feels to be so out of place.

"Please freshmen. okay how about this, you can bring Kate and if you don't like it I'll take you home myself"

I pretend to think about it, and I do mean pretend. I knew the moment he said please and pouted his lips, I was a goner.

"Well since you put it that way, why not" He engulfs me in one of his famous Christian Grey way to tight hugs.

"Freshmen I promise you'll have a good time"

And then he's gone. I think about the party all day. I ask Kate if she wants to go and she almost dies but insist that we buy new pajamas. So here I am in the mall shopping when I really want to just go home and study.

"Oh my god Ana,we're going to have a blast"

"Kate,if you say that one more time I might die"

"I'm serious but I'm a little worried about you around Elena"

"Kate,what are you talking about?"

"Ana,it's no secret Elena hates you. It's something to do with your friendship with her boyfriend."

"Kate that's crazy we're just friends. I know how much Christian loves Elena"

"Ana I know that but if I didn't know you two I would think you guys were a couple"

I never really paid attention to how christian and I looked from the outside looking in. I know some times he gets really touchy feely, but he's just a horny teenager. I would love to believe that in some weird way Christian wanted me, but I know better.

"Kate what are you wearing to the slumber party" I try to change the very uncomfortable subject.

"I'm wearing something sexy and so are you"

like hell if I am.

"Kate you're crazy if you think I will show all of my goods"

"I'm not saying show them, I'm simply saying make them want to be seen"

I don't know how but she gets me to go to Victoria secret. It's not that I don't like Victoria secret I just don't want Kate picking out something too sexy for me from there. I guess every girl in the senior class had the same idea as Kate because they are all here.

"Kate!" I hear Elena calling my best friends name and I get instantly annoyed. I'm glad Kate is making friends with other people, I just wish her friends didn't hate me.

"Hey Elena, what's up"

"Not much I'm so glad you're coming. I wasn't sure Christian was going to invite you"

"Well he didn't. He invited Ana and she invited me" The look on Elena face is priceless.

"So Ana, your coming?"

"Well that was the plan." I can't help but feel out-of-place as the senior girls glare at me as if I just ruined the damn party.

"Well if you insist on being there try and be presentable. Oh one more thing make sure you stay away from Christian."

I really don't know why she felt the need to tell me that. It's not like I plan on sleeping with Christian. I can not stand to be in this mall any longer, So I decide on a pair of yoga pants, a camisole and long hot pink socks. Kate on the other hand, picks out a night-gown that leaves very little to the imagination. My dad picks us up and Kate and I try to convince him to let me go to the slumber party the whole drive home.

"Please dad, Everybody will be there"

"Ana I don't feel comfortable with you spending the night with a bunch of boys"

" it's not like that, My brother Ethan went every year before he changed schools. The boys and girls sleep in separate rooms."

My dad takes in what Kate says and his only reply is.

"And where will the parents be?"

"Mrs. Grey sleeps in the same room as the girls Mr. Grey sleeps in the same room as the boys"

Realizing he is fighting a losing battle my dad finally agrees. We drop Kate off and I rush home to get ready. I pack everything I think I will need and wait for my ride. I can't help but notice my mom once again isn't home.

"Hey dad, did mom say when she'll be home?" I hate my mom for doing this to my dad. Her infidelity is slowing but surely destroying him.

"Annie you know how your mom likes to stay late at work." His denial of her cheating is his way of staying strong for me. I guess he thinks if he would divorce my mom he'll never see me again. I would never leave Ray he is my father, that doesn't mean Carla wouldn't take me from him.

Ray and I begin a small conversation on what he plans on doing while I'm gone.15 minutes later Kate is banging on my door yelling for me to bring my ass. As I suspected Ethan is driving us but he is also staying, something about him and Christian being close friends . I feel more comfortable knowing that Ethan is staying. The drive to Bellevue is long but totally worth it. I have never seen a house this beautiful. I'm there all of five minutes when Christian finds me.

"Hey Ana where is your pajamas?"

"I should ask you the same thing." All he has on are dark Blue pajama bottoms and socks.

"Give it up, freshmen I know you like what you see"

"whatever Christian. Do you want to tell me Where I change or do I have to do it in front of everybody " He stops a girl with black hair that was walking by and introduces her as his sister.

"Mia this is Ana can you show her where to change" Her beautiful face lights up with joy.

"You're Ana? I'm so happy to finally put an face with the name." I have no idea what should be talking about. she must pick up on my confusion.

"Oh. I'm sorry, you probably think I'm crazy. It's just that Christian talks-"

Before she could finish her sentence Christian cuts her off.

"Mia just take her to change." He doesn't say anything else, just disappears into the sea of drunken horny high school kids. I walk with mia up the winding stairs down the hall covered with photos of the Grey children until we enter a room made for a princess. I change as quick as I can And mia talks to me the whole time.

"So Ana, how old are you?"

"I'm 15, my birthday was last week"

"Oh my god! happy belated birthday. What did Christian get you?"

"Nothing, but it's ok We had just met I didn't expect him to get me anything"

"You would think as much as Christian talks about you he would at least get you something for your birthday"

What? I didn't know Christian talked about me to his family. I decide to stick with Mia since Kate ditched me the second we got in the house. Mia is fun to be around she's sweet and funny and almost like, me minus the being shy part. The party goes on for hours and hours before I realize there are no parents in sight.

"Mia where are your mom and dad?"

"Their out of town. That's why Christian And Elliot had the party tonight"

Crap my dad is going to kill me. around two o'clock the party starts to die down. Mia said I could sleep in here room so that's what I decide to do. I lay in bed with Mia and talk about everything from her dislike of Elena to how glad she is to have made a new friend in me, before Mia falls to sleep. I'm restless, I toss and turn and finally give up and go down stairs to get some Milk. I thought everyone was sleep but I was wrong. Christian, Elena, Kate ,Ethan and Elliot are still awake.

"Freshmen what are you still doing up" So much for me going unnoticed.

"I just wanted something to drink"

"Well since your up you should come play truth or dare"

"truth or dare is childish"

"please freshmen for me " God damn it how can I resist that smile.

"Okay I guess it could be fun"

I sit in between Kate and Ethan not really wanting to talk to Kate. Ethan gives me a small smile, I guess he realizes how uncomfortable I am here. The game starts out as your typical game of truth and dare. People making out with people, people taking off clothes you know the same old same old, but It takes a drastic turn when it gets to Kate .

"Okay Ana Truth or Dare?" She's my best friend, I don't have anything to scared about.

"Um Truth"

"Okay, is it true that on your birthday all you wanted was a kiss for the first time?" I know Kate loves me, So why does it feel like she's being cruel by asking me this in front of people we barely know.

"Well yeah that's true"

Everyone starts to laugh and for a second I hate my best friend. Is it so wrong for me to want a first kiss. I don't want to be here anymore, I get up to leave and Ethan insist that I stay, so I do. I don't say much, I just watch but when Elliot dares Christian to give Elena a Hickey. That was me que to leave. I go to the kitchen and get something to drink like I planed on doing in the first place. I hear footsteps walking towards the kitchen and I think its Kate, but it's Christian. I know I shouldn't be mad at him but I am.

"Christian look, I'm really not in the mood"

"Ana why didn't you tell me about your birthday?"

"Well, I didn't think you would care, we just met"

"If you wanted a kissed for your birthday all you had to do was ask"

And without warning he places his lips on mine. The kiss we share is gentle yet passionate. He has me so close to him I can feel his frantic heart beating. I moan and that's all it takes for him to lose control and I don't stop him. He places me on the counter and I wrap my legs around his waist. I stop to look him in the eyes and If I'm not mistaken I see love. His eyes are trying to tell me something, I don't know what but I feel like I want to give myself to him completely.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" We turn to the voice and find a very pissed off Elena. Elliot is cheering his brother on ,Kate is shaking her head and Ethan looks disappointed.

"Elena calm down, I'm drunk" Well If I didn't feel like a cheap whore before, I do now.

"Christian, if you think for a minute I believe that, your crazy"

"Elena, she's a freshmen for crying out loud"

"So you don't have no interest in her?" He looks at me and I say a silent prayer that he doesn't break my heart with his response.

"Besides her friendship ,I have no interest in her"

I feel like shit. I can't believe he could say that. I want to cry but I decide to just go home. I run upstairs to grab my clothes without waking up Mia. I leave her my phone number so she could call me. Walking back down the stairs I see a fully dressed Ethan.

"Ethan where are you going?"

"I'm taking you home"

Thank god for that.I don't think I need to say bye to anyone , but Kate decides now is a good time for her to be my best friend again.

"Ana don't leave"

"It's okay, I'll see you at school"

"Well do you at least want me to go with you?"

"No ,you fit in here"

And that's the last thing I say before I leave. Ethan being the wonderful guy that he is said I was too good for Christian. I know Ethan cares about me so I understand why he is so pissed that Christian would do what he did. I thank the high heavens that I have my house keys. I go straight to my room and lay down, ready to drift into sleepland. I hear my phone beep and I scramble to find it. What do you know ,a text from Christian

**I wish you would have stayed. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings by what I said ,I really do care about you if that makes it any better. please please don't hate me. *Christian**

Now he cares. I don't get him, I mean we were fine. We were friends and now after that kiss I don't know where I stand with him. He's afraid that I might hate him ,but I'm afraid I could never hate somebody I care about so much.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to my BETA. you guys asked for Christian's point of view ,so you guys got Christians point of view. As always I love you for reading. **

Chapter 4

CPOV

It's been three days since the slumber party. I feel really shitty about how I treated Ana. I don't regret kissing her, but I know Ana and I could never be more than friends. She's a freshmen and I'll be leaving for college this year so what's the point of trying to start anything with her. I tried calling her and I've sent her an insane amount of text messages, but she hasn't said a word to me. I don't know why but I just feel the need to talk to her. With that being said, I made sure to make it to first period early just so I could tell her I'm sorry. I'm waiting and waiting but no sign of Ana. She walks in the class one minute before Mr. Hyde, says hello to Jose, and that's it. The whole class I will her to look at me or at least in my direction, but it doesn't work. She seems happy, not that I don't want her to be happy, but she seemed so upset when she left the party Friday. Once the class is over I take it upon myself to make her talk to me.

"Hey Freshmen!"

She stops and smile - _God how I've missed that smile._

"Hey Christian. What's up?"

"Um, I just wanted to say sorry about the party."

"Don't worry about it."

She starts to walk off like the conversation is over.

"Ana wait - I've been texting you all weekend."

"Oh yeah, I've been busy."

She's been busy? What the hell could she have been doing that she couldn't call or return my text message.

"Ana, what's going on? It seems like you're pulling away from me. Look if this is about what I said I'm sorry if it hurt your feelings, but I don't want to lose you. As a friend that is."

"Christian look I'm not mad. I understand that we're friends. I just realized how much I wanted to be with somebody romantically. So Ethan and I have been trying to form some type of relationship."

WHAT THE FUCK?

"Ana what the hell are you talking about? Ethan is 3 years older than you."

"Christian that doesn't matter. He has known me for most of my life. He really cares about me."

"But Ana I care about you."

"I know you do, but you care about me as a friend. Look I'm not saying I don't want us to be friends, I'm just saying if I have a boyfriend things are going to be different. We won't see or talk to each other that much."

I can't believe this. I can't really explain how I feel, but I guess it's better to have her as a friend than not have her at all. The day drags on. By lunch I just want to punch something. I sit at my same old lunch table with the same old people. Elena and Kate seem to be spending a lot of time with each other. So I guess that explains why Ana has been hanging with Jose so much in school. The whole school day is horrible. In every class I have with Ana she doesn't say anything to me.

I need to get over whatever this is - I'm Christian Grey, I can have anyone I want. So I leave last period early and text Leila to meet me in the school's old green house. I've haven't been with Leila in a while mainly because Elena has been like my shadow. I wait all of three minutes before I see Leila. I know she misses being with me and I plan on taking full advantage of that. I grab her as soon as she is in reaching distance and kiss her for all I'm worth. We kiss each other as if we're trying to devour one another. She pulls at my jeans and I pull at hers. I don't want to do this I just need to get my mind off of Ana. I pick Leila up and back her into a wall. This should be quick. I enter Leila slow and just still myself so she can feel me. I hear my phone beep but pay it no attention. I pull out of Leila slow and push back into her fast and hard. She pushes down on my dick and I bounce her back up with every thrust I make. I can feel her getting close she pulls at my hair and scratches every piece of skin she can get her nails on. I'm building and building, and then I crash and so does she calling out my name. We try to catch our breath and once we do I know exactly what she's going to say.

"Christian I don't understand why we can't be together."

Here we go again.

"Leila I told you, Elena will try to make our lives a living hell."

"If you say so. Anyway do you want to come over tonight for round two?"

No not really but I can't say that to her, I'm not that much of a jerk.

"Yeah just text me."

As I watch Leila leave I remember my phone beeping so I check it and see that it's a text. Oh shit it's from Ana.

***Hey I really need you,** **was wondering if you could take me home* Ana**

_Shit! Shit! Shit!_ I hope she didn't leave. I make my way to the front of the school as fast as I can. Please God let her be there. The bell rung around the time I was busy fucking Leila's brains out so there aren't many people left in the front of the school. But I relax as soon as I see her. Thank the high heavens she's still here.

"Hey freshmen."

"Hey Christian I thought you left." oh no.I can tell she's been crying, that doesn't stop her from putting on a smile. As I walk closer to her that beautiful smile starts to turn into a frown.

"Nope I'm still here. I had some thing I had to make up for."

"Yeah I bet you did. Nice scratches."

_God damn Leila. _

"Uh yeah, so are you ready to go?"

"No that's fine. Ethan is coming to pick me up"

You have to be fucking kidding me.

"Ana, look I can take you. It's really not a problem."

"No Christian it's fine, but I was thinking how about we all get together Friday and do something."

"Yeah I would really like that."

"Okay so I'll call you."

Just then Ethan drives up. She tells me bye. I can't help but to be pissed off when she kisses Ethan. If I felt like shit this morning I feel even shittier now. I wonder briefly why she was crying.

**APOV**

I don't want to cry in front of Ethan but I suspect he knows I'm upset.

"Ana, what happened?"

"Ethan, I promise to talk to you after I talk to me dad." Just like that he drops it. That's why I know he will make a great boyfriend. He tell me we should have dinner tonight so I can take my mind off it. I agree and once he drops me off I'm reminded why I was so upset in the first place. Walking into my house is kind of bitter sweet. I'm happy to see my dad and upset because my mom still isn't home. My sadness turns into anger without me even noticing it. I stomp around the house looking for my dad only to find him in the garage fixing one of his old car.

"Hey Annie, how was school?"

"School was horrible. Dad you need to divorce mom. If you do I'll stay with you, I'll never leave I just can't deal with how she treats you. Please dad just do it."

He looks as if he is battling himself before resolve washes over him. "Okay. But you have to promise you'll stay." I watch as my dad cries; I've never seen him cry. With ever tears he sheds I grow to hate my mom more and more.

**Four days later CPOV**

All week has been pure hell. Leila has been texting me non-stop and Elena hasn't let me out her sight at all since she seen the scratches by Leila. But that's not the worst part, I had to watch Ana float on cloud nine. Her and Ethan are in a full-blown relationship. Ethan and I decided to play basketball yesterday and he told me then. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them both but I can't get over these feelings I have for Ana. To make matters worse, I have to go out with the happy couple - well we're all going out together as friends. It will be Elena, Kate, Mia, Elliot, Ethan, Ana, and myself. I wanted Elena to stay home but Kate insisted that she came. We all decide to go to a karaoke club. Everyone is here except Ethan and Ana. So we take it upon ourselves to pick some songs we want to sing and that's when I see her. I hadn't realized how much I've missed her.

"Hey freshmen, you made it."

"Hey Christian."

"So where's your boyfriend?'

"Parking the car. So did you pick a song you wanted to sing?"

"I don't know if I want to embarrass myself."

"Well I know what song I want to sing."

"And what song is that?"

"You have to promise me you won't laugh."

"I promise I will not laugh."

"I want to sing Katy Perry's Teenage dream."

"Why that song?"

"That's how Ethan makes me feel."

Well there goes my good mood.

"Christian, look I know we haven't really been spending time together, but I've been going threw some things. I can't lose another one of my best friends"

Best friend? She considers me a best friend? Wait, what has she been going threw?

"Ana, what's wrong."

"family stuff. I can't really complain though, I'm young and in love"

LOVE? WHAT THE FUCK DOES SHE MEAN LOVE?

I don't really say anything. I just remain distant for the rest of the night. I can't enjoy myself. I watched as Kate and Leila sang some song by Britney Spears, and then listened while Elliot tried to rap some Drake song. But my heart broke as I watched Ana sing Teenage dream to Ethan. The two of them have been stealing kisses from each other all night. Everyone keeps going on and on about how happy they look. So I do the only thing I can do. I make out with Elena until I'm so hard it hurts. Elena says she has to go to the bathroom and then she'll be ready to go. I decide to wait outside for her. I think about everything while I wait, but I mostly think about Ana. Maybe I shouldn't have said what I said that night. Maybe I should have told Ana how I felt? How I felt is pointless now because she clearly is happy.

"What are you thinking about?" I hear her voice and begin to relax.

"Not much. Why are you out here?"

"I wanted to make sure you were ok. You seem weird."

"I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me."

"Christian I know when you're lying." Of course she does.

"Ana, I just don't know if I want to be with Elena."

"Oh I know what this is about."

"You do?"

Crap if she knows my feelings for her I don't know what I'll do.

"Of course I do. It's about Leila right." Hell no it's not about Leila, it's about you is what I want to say but I could never bring myself to say that to her.

"Yeah it's about Leila"

"Christian look, if you want to be with Leila then be with her. Elena is a grade-A bitch and you could do better. You should feel happy in a relationship. I know I do and I have you to thank for that."

"What do you mean you have me to thank for it?"

"That night at the party I really thought we could make something out of that kiss, but when you said you value our friendship I realized that is all we'll ever have. I was upset at first and Ethan was there for me the whole weekend. That's how our relationship started."

I fucking hate myself right now. I pushed her away for what? I love Ana. I want her to be happy, but I hate that she isn't happy with me.

"Ana, I love you." I didn't really think about it before I said it, that doesn't change the fact that I said it.

"Christian, I love you too. You're one of my closest friends. Listen I have to go. I'll call you."

I can't believe she can just leave like that. I guess the only thing I can do now is be her friend. If Ethan ever breaks her heart, I will be there to put it back together. Fuck this! I have to get Elena home so I can fuck the shit out of her and try to forget about Ana.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 5**

**Apov**

_End of the school year_

To say this school years was hard is putting it mildly. My mom confessed about her affair with Mr. Hyde so my dad divorced her. I had to beg for her to let me stay with dad. I didn't want to leave my friends, let alone my boyfriend. After all Jose and Ethan have been my rocks threw this whole situation. I know you're probably wondering about Kate but Mia has been more then happy to step in for her. She is like a new sister and I hate to say it but I don't miss Kate. She has become somewhat of best friends with Elena. I'm not jealous or even angry, Elena's with Christian and Kate's with Elliot, so it only makes since for them to be friends, right? Ethan says she's a different person since we're no longer close but as my boyfriend he understands I've been threw too much to deal with her. I love Ethan. He's supportive and caring, so I want to take our relationship to the next level. I decide to make an appointment to get on birth control. They say I can come in tomorrow. I briefly wonder if I should go by myself. I can't ask Kate, since she'll no doubt be with Elena. Speaking of Elena, I wonder where Christian is. I haven't spent time with him in a while. Well that's a lie. We spent time together as part of a group of friends every weekend. But I can't remember the last time Christian and I have been together by ourselves. I send him a text.

***I think we should spend time together before you leave for college. I miss you**

**Ana***

I wait five minutes, and then ten but nothing from Christian. I begin to feel sad, but then I realize he is probably in between someone legs. If Christian could be different maybe we could have had something. Don't get me wrong, I love the friendship we have. I just wish he knew how I felt about him when we first met. Oh well, no use crying over spilled milk.

On the day of my appointment I'm scared out of my mind. I go alone since I didn't have anyone else. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I got a shot and they sent me on my way. Walking out I hear my phone beep and see a text from Christian.

***Do you still want to spend time with me before I leave?**

**Christian***

Wow, now he decides to text back. I text him and tell him where to pick me up. Ten minutes later he's driving along side the curb. I waste no time hugging him. I hadn't realized how much I missed his face.

"Christian, I missed you so much."

"What are you talking about? We just went bowling Saturday." He laughs a little.

"I know but you and I haven't done anything by ourselves in forever."

"Well what do you expect when you're always with your boyfriend." If I didn't know any better I would say he's jealous.

"You have some nerve. You and Elena are constantly dry humping each other." He looks at me with a smile on his lips.

"Oh believe me Ana, we do more then dry hump." Ewww! I did not need to know that. He burst into full blown laughter once he gets a look at my facial expression.

"Well maybe I will find out what all the fuss is about."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm thinking about having sex... with Ethan."

Everything stops. The car stops, my blinking stops, and Christian's breathing stops. He isn't scowling or yelling, still I can tell he's upset.

"Ana are you serious? I didn't know you guys were _that_ serious about each other."

"We love each other. I'm sure you had sex with people you couldn't care less about" I meant it as a joke; to lighting the mood, he doesn't say anything. I don't know why he cares about what I do. We drive a little while longer ; in a very awkward silence before he stops in front of a house I don't know.

"Christian what's going on?" I can feel it. I know something bad is coming, I just hope it doesn't destroy Christian and I.

"Well Leila texted me, she has the house to herself and wanted company. I'm sure you could call Ethan to come pick you up" There it is. Wait. What did he just say? _ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!_ I know Christian will drop whatever he is doing for a quick fuck. But I thought he cared enough about me to at least drop me off home before he ditched me to get laid.

"Christian,I thought we were going to spend time together. You graduate in a couple of weeks" My voice sounds scared, and if I'm honest with myself I guess I am. I don't want to lose him.

"Ana listen, I love you. I know what you're going to say, but _I love you_. I can deal with you being in a relationship with one of my best friends. I just can't deal with you fucking one of them."

I don't know what he expects me to say. If he would have said that he loved me before Ethan maybe I would feel different then how I feel now ;at this very moment in time I feel pissed off.

"Christian you can not tell me you love me. I thought I was too young for you. I don't care how you feel about my relationship with Ethan, and why should I? You never once cared how I felt about you and Elena, or you and Leila. If you're going to be my friend, be my friend and support the choices I make. If Ethan and I have sex tonight we will not be fucking, we will be making love."

I get out the car and walk towards the bus stop. If there was ever any chance of there being a relationship between Christian and I, surely he just ruined it.

_**Cpov Graduation Day**_

Ana hasn't said one word to me since I said I loved her. I've seen her, but she makes sure to stay by Ethan's side. I don't know if they had sex but Ana seems different. It's something about her that's changed. I can't put my finger on it. Ethan on the other hand is the same old nice guy that he has always been. They both seem really happy. I might hate them being together but they are still two of my closest friends, so I'm happy if their happy. The end of our graduation ceremony is the same as always - a bunch of congratulations from people I don't know; endless pictures with my family, and everyone trying to get invited to the last party I will throw. I don't really want to have a party. I just feel like everyone expects me to have one. I see my nearest and dearest- Elliot, Mia, Mom, Dad,Kate and Elena. Ethan's graduation is also today so I don't expect him to be here. I at least thought Ana would be. I guess she had to pick between the two of us, and she choose Ethan. I just want to get drunk and fuck anything that's walking.

"Who is coming to my party tonight!?" I yell to my fellow Graduates and watch as they cheer and scream. Kate is saying something to me.

"Everyone will be there. Well everyone one except Ana and my brother."

"Kate, what are you talking about?"

"The two of them are having dinner or something."

I swear to god they do everything together. I decide to try and get my mind off of Ana.

"So Elena, do you want to come over to help me set up for the party."

It's no secret what Elena and I are going to do. Mia looks like she wants to rip my head off.

"Christian can I speak with you for a minute."

"Of course anything for my little sister."

We walk until we reach a tree. Mia is the apple of my eye. I love her with all of my heart. So why does it look as if she wants to kill me?

"Christian I never wanted to hurt you so much in my life."

"Mia what did I do now?"

"You left Ana to go fuck Leila because your upset that she moved on with her life. The minute someone brings up Ethan and Ana all you want to do is fuck something ."

"I'm not thinking about Ana. If I want to have sex with someone I'll do it."

"You're a liar. Ana loved you at one point of time, Did you know that? You just couldn't see it. No matter how many girls you have sex with you will always regret losing her."

"Mia what can I do if she doesn't love me anymore?"

"You can try to be happy for two people that really care for one another."

I am happy for them; well at least I pretend to be happy for them. How can I be happy when somebody I love who decides to be with one of my friends? I know it's childish to think like this, but I just can't help it. I decide to have dinner with my Mom and Dad before I have my party. I'm sitting in the restaurant listening to my dad tell me how proud he is of me. When I look up and see Ana And Ethan in a passionate kiss. Ana looks as if she has been crying. I would love for them not to see us; naturally, Mia on the other hand has different plans.

"ANA! ANA!"

Gosh could she scream any louder. As soon as Ana notices Mia she begins to walk to our table. I have to admit she looks breathtaking. She has on a tight brown sleeveless dress with brown high heels, and her beautiful brown hair in a bun. She looks sexy, smart, and grownup but most of all she looks happy. Is it selfish of me to hate that she is happy and I have nothing to do with it?

"Oh my gosh Mia I was just going to call you?"

"Why"

"Look what Ethan gave me."

She has a necklace with an E made up of diamonds.

"Oh Ana it's so pretty."

"Oh sorry Christian congratulations! I'm so happy for you."

"Sure you are."

"What is that suppose to mean?"

"Nothing it's just that I thought I would see you at my graduation, since we're friends." Point one for me.

"Well since you had Elena and Leila there I didn't think my presence was needed." One point for Ana, and then she's gone.

After dinner I head home and start getting ready for my party. It doesn't take long since all I really need is liquor and music. An hour before the part starts Elliot And Mia run to get some food, so I decide to pick out something to wear. I put everything on hold when the door bell rings. It's Ana.

"Um...I wanted to talk to you."

What? Why?

"Okay. What do you want to talk about?"

"Christian I realized that you're leaving for college and I know this is last minute, I just need you to hear me out."

"Okay."

"Christian, I love Ethan I couldn't be happier if I tried."

"Ana I really don't need to hear this."

"Yes you do Christian. As I was saying, I'm happy until the moment I see you. Every time we're near each other I second-guess everything that I have with Ethan. I know that makes me seem like a bad person but it's just how I feel."

"Ana what do want me to say? I told you how I felt and you left me."

"Christian you told me you loved me outside of the house of a girl you were about to fuck." She yells. She does have a point.

"Christian tell me, how you feel now that it's just the two of us?"

"Ana I love you. More then a friend should love another friend. I want to be yours and I want you to be mine. I want to own your heart, because you own mine."

I waste no more time on talking. I reach for her and pull her into a slow passionate kiss. I hold her as my lips move on their own accord; my tongue massages hers. I want to live in this moment.

"Christian wait, what about Ethan?"

"We have to tell him"

"We? You'll tell him with me?" Her eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

"Sure. I want to do everything with you."

There goes that smile.

"Okay. We can tell him at the party"

Ana leaves shortly afterward. I'm sad to see her go, I know once she comes back we can tell Ethan and begin a relationship. The party starts and there's no sign of Ana. Maybe she's just scared and taking her time is what I keep telling myself. Two hours into the party and no sign of Ana. She isn't coming, I can feel it, she isn't fucking coming. What was the point of her coming here? Fuck this I might as well drink my pain away; better yet where is Elena? There she is in her crop top and her high-waisted shorts.

"Elena baby I need you." Technically, I don't need her, I need Ana, but she will have to do.

"Show me what you want baby."

I lead her into my room and lose myself. I enjoy myself as she leaves a trail of kisses from my ear to my chest. She unbuckles my belt and grabs a handful of me. I feel myself getting hot. It's something about how she's kissing me and stroking me that's making me hard as wood.

"I'll make you remember me Christian Grey."

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure you will. She pulls out my dick and I watch as she sucks and strokes my length. I just want to get to the good part, but I might as well enjoy the show. I'm almost there when she stops everything and impales herself on my dick. SHEESH! I grab onto her as she rides my dick. I need this to be rough. It's too much like love making when it's slow like this. So I flip her over and drive my dick into her repeatedly. Yup, this is just what I needed. I don't even remember why I was mad. OH SHIT! I can feel myself getting closer. I rub her clit so she could hurry up and we could cum together. And we do. I lay there for a while watching as Elena gets dressed.

"Christian, you've been weird lately, I thought I was losing you."

She crawls up the bed and kisses me just as the door flies open. Shit it's Ethan and Ana!

"Um sorry Christian, Ana said you wanted to talk about something but we see you're busy."

The look on Ana's face is heartbreaking and I hate that I'm the reason for it. "Ana listen-"

"No Christian it's okay I can tell him."

She wipes the one tear that has escaped her eye, and turns to Ethan and says, "Um... what Christian and I wanted to tell you was um… Christian is going to Harvard too. Surprise!"

"WOW really? That is so cool! I can't believe this. Why don't we talk about this when you're not naked?"

He laughs but I don't find anything funny. Ana leaves out the room she's practically running. The rest of the party was pointless. Everyone had a blast but I didn't see Ana for the rest of the night. I thought she left without so much as a goodbye but Mia gave me a box that she said Ana gave to her for me. Attached to it is a letter.

_Dear Christian,_

_You really had me fooled. I really was willing to give up my happiness for you. I know now we could never be more then what we are. At first I hated that but now I grateful for it. So thank you for showing me that words mean nothing. Anyway I wanted to get you a graduation present. I remember you said you wanted a grand piano of your own one day, so I got you one._

_Love always, your freshmen _

_Ana_

I open the box and inside is a miniature Grand piano. I will cherish this forever simply because it's from her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to my BETA. You're a rock star. **

**CPOV - Second Year of College**

I wish I could say I've changed, but I haven't. I wish I could say I've grown up, became a better man and stopped fucking anything that walked, but I haven't. I also can't say I want to. I know at one point of time I had a reason to change. My reason has been happy with someone else for two years now. I try not to think too much about her but every once in a while I dream of blue eyes, brown hair and sweet kisses that left me wanting more. See, there I go again, daydreaming about someone I can't have. To make matters worst, I have to see Ethan almost everyday. I don't hold any bad feelings toward Ethan. I just hate that he has to bring her up every time we're together. I know to everyone it seems like Ana and I aren't close anymore, but that's just not true. We call and text each other a great deal. We don't really talk about anything serious. I just like knowing what's going on in her life. I hate when I do this - sitting around thinking about Ana.

_CRAP!_ Speaking of Ana, that reminds me I have to meet Ethan. I know it might seem crazy but I would never stop being close to Ethan, I truly and honestly value our friendship. I leave my off-campus apartment and start my short walk to Ethan's place, admiring every female along the way. I know I had my fare share of girls in high school, but I've gotten worst. It's not all my fault that girls just seem to throw themselves at me. I have yet to find anyone that I would even consider being in a relationship with, not that I'm looking.

If I'm honest with myself I haven't really been in any sort of relationship since Elena. She wanted to stay together once we left for college, I just didn't see how that would work since she went to UCLA and I'm in Harvard. She cried, she yelled, we fucked, and left it at that. She calls every once and a while but I try to keep the conversation to a minimum. After all she is the reason Ana and I never took the next step. I can't really blame Elena for that. It was my fault entirely. I've always known that. I do this to myself constantly. First I think of Ethan, and then I think of Ana; within minutes I find myself with a sad look on my face, Then I try franticly to smile before Ethan asks what's wrong. I knock on his door. I hear him talking to someone inside and I briefly wonder who it could be. He opens the door and to my surprise, he's all by him self.

"Hey Christian. Come in and say hi to Ana."

"Wait she's here?" Oh, how I've missed her face.

"Well not exactly."

I'm sure my confusion is completely understandable. He pays no attention to my confused state; instead he walks me to his living room and turns his laptop around showing me the most beautiful face I have ever seen.

"Wow. Ana you look different."

She looks so grown up. Hair her is longer and her breast are bigger but those eyes are the same shade of blue.

"Hey Christian. Long time no see. I was just telling Ethan how much I've miss you guys."

She misses me. I don't know how to feel, what to say or do and I honestly just want to stare into her beautiful eyes and tell her how much I still care for her.

"Hello earth to Christian."

I'm broken out of my trance by Ethan waving his hand in my face.

"Um yeah I'm sorry I guess I was stuck daydreaming."

"Probably about one of your girls."

Ethan's joking, but I don't want him to bring up other women in front of Ana.

"Whatever man, Listen can you wrap up your conversation so we can get dinner"

I listen as he says his farewell to Ana, promising to call when he gets back. I don't want to sound jealous, but I realize just how much they care one another. I would never want to come in between that. I just wish what happened that night never happened. I have no right to feel any type of way about the two of them. It doesn't change the fact that I do.

Ethan and I have dinner every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. It's sort of our way of making sure we keep up with each others lives. We only have one economic class together. We try to switch it up every once in a while with where we eat, but we always end up at this one burger place. I order the same old burger and so does Ethan. The waitress almost breaks her neck to make sure we get our orders as fast as possible.

"Man I think she likes you."

Ethan always goes on and on about how he thinks every girl we come in contact with wants to have sex with me.

"You think every female likes me."

We share a laugh before we get into what we plan on doing for Thanksgiving break. I plan on eating and fucking once I get back to Seattle, Ethan on the other hand wants to take Ana somewhere special. Of course he does.

"So I see you and Ana are still going strong?"

"Yeah. Sometimes I just want to drop everything and run back home to be with her."

"Wow. So, do you think this could go all the way."

Please say no, please say no. He thinks about it for a while before he finally starts talking again.

" She's still young so I haven't thought that far. I mean, I've known her almost her whole life, our relationship is better then ever, even though we're so far apart and I love her with all my heart."

He pauses for a while as if he doesn't want to say whatever it is that he needs to say.

"Ethan, what's the problem? You two sound perfect."

"I know. When you hear it everything sounds perfect. It's just sometimes Ana seems distance and sad. I know she loves me. I'll never doubt that - It's just I don't always feel like she's truly honestly _in love_ with me."

I've never seen Ethan like this. Whenever he talks about Ana his voice is filled with joy, now he just sounds sad and angry. I should at least try to do something.

"Ethan listen to me, that girl loves you. That's all that matters."

What the hell is wrong with me? I should just let him break up with her if he feels this way. No that wouldn't work, Ana will be heart broken if I let that happen. I know I might seem like I couldn't care less and most of the time I don't, but I would do anything to prevent Ana from being hurt by a guy she loves. I can't let that happen again.

**APOV 1-week later**

I arrived at Logan International Airport about twenty minutes ago. I've been calling Christian's phone with hopes that he could drive me to Ethan's place. I guess this is what I get for trying to be spontaneous. I just wanted a little time alone with Ethan before he heads home and gets surrounded by family. I might as well get a cab. I hate cabs. I just find getting in a car with somebody you don't know creepy. So I get a cab and decide to call Mia; that way if I get murdered I could at least scream out my killer's name. I laugh a little in my head. I'm too much sometimes. What was I doing? Oh yeah Mia.

"Hey Mia. I made it in one piece."

"Oh my gosh Ana, Ethan is going to be so surprised."

"I hope so. I know I should have told him but I really want to spend a day or two with him before he goes home. Please Mia, tell me I'm not being selfish."

"Ana you're not being selfish. If anything this shows just how much you love him."

"Thank you Mia, I really needed that."

"Ana listen, I want to ask you something and I don't want you to take it the wrong way."

"Mia you can ask me anything."

"Okay. Ana are you going to be okay when you see Christian?"

I take a while to think.

"I think I should be okay. I mean once upon a time I had extreme feelings for him, but I'm happy with Ethan and I would never jeopardize that. Besides you know your brother, he's probably plowing into something as we speak."

Mia and I burst into a fit of giggles. I may be laughing but my heart breaks just a little thinking of Christian with someone else. I really don't know why I do this to myself. Yes, at one point in time I thought Christian wanted to be with me. I had to find out the hard way that he didn't. He never really cared about me the way I cared about him. And just like that I'm back to feeling nothing for him - well almost nothing. I talk to Mia all the way up the stairs until I reach Ethan's door. _Crap it's locked!_

"Mia he isn't here and the door is locked."

"You mean to tell me you don't have an extra key?"

"No. I guess I could wait for him to get home."

Leave it to me to have to wait on the floor in front of my boyfriend's apartment.

"Why don't you just get Christian to bring you his spare key?"

"What? Why does Christian have a spare key?"

"I'm not sure, but Ethan has a spare to Christian's as well. I'm just suggesting it so you won't have to wait for god knows how long."

"Okay you have a point. But he's not answering his phone."

"Just go to his apartment. I talked to him this morning. He said he didn't have classes this after noon."

"Text me his address and I'll try calling him again to let him know I'm coming."

I jump back into a cab and head to Christian's, only to realize I've could've walked. I'm nervous, not just any kind of nervous - I'm sweating and trying to hold down my lunch kind of nervous. I need to calm down, he's just another friend; a friend that I used to care about and almost left my boyfriend for. Well so much for a pep talk, I'm here. I'm slightly surprised. It's a lovely neighborhood with all kinds of people walking up and down the street. I follow Mia instructions and walk up to the third floor and find apartment C5. I knock once, no answer; then twice, no answer. I swear if he isn't here I'll kill Mia. I knock once more as hard as I can and just like magic it opens. For a minute I think I have the wrong apartment because this girl standing in front of me is not Christian.

"Um I was looking for Christian."

I'm not upset, well at least I'm trying not to be.

"And you are?"

Well this bitch has some nerves.

"I'm his friend. If he's here tell him Ana needs to see him."

She turns on her heels and I briefly hear what sounds like a conversation, before I hear what sounds like running.

"Ana what are you doing here? Are you okay?"

Christian wraps me in a hug so tight, it's almost like he's crushing me. I marvel in the feel of being in his arms briefly. I wish it could always be like this, but I remember why it can't and pull myself from his embrace. The girl that opened the door hasn't left yet; instead she's just standing there with a look of hatred on her pretty little face. Christian isn't paying her any attention. He's too busy looking at me as if he's taking a mental picture.

"Um Christian your friend looks upset."

He turns to the girl and says a few words to her. I guess she liked whatever she heard because she wraps her arms around his neck and kissed him like she's trying to make a point. Then I realize she is, her point is she doesn't know who I am, but he's hers. Oh please if I could deal with Elena and Christian on a daily basis, I can deal with this. They finally come up for air and she leaves. Now it feels really awkward.

"Um I won't stay for long, I just needed the spare key to Ethan's apartment."

"Why are you in such a rush?"

"I'm not in a rush. I just really want to surprise Ethan."

"Oh. That explains why you're here?"

"Of course, what other reason would I have to be here?"

He looks slightly disappointed. What is his problem? I'm pretty sure he just had sex with little Miss Attitude.

"So I see not much has changed."

I don't know why I thought he would ever change.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, Christian Grey all time play boy."

I start to giggle and stop instantly. The look on Christian's face tells me he doesn't think it's funny.

"Well if that's what you think of me, fine."

"Um okay, so are you going to give me your spare key or what?"

I don't understand why he's so hostile. I talk to Christian a lot and he never sounds like he does now.

"Sure, let me just grab my keys."

"Wait, you're coming with me?"

"Yeah, I just want to make sure you get there safe."

"Christian, you don't have to I'll catch a cab."

"Nonsense, besides I know how much cabs freak you out."

Awww, he remembered. Stop it Ana, don't do this to yourself.

"Okay, I guess if you insist."

I can't explain what it's like walking with Christian. People stare and women give me the evil eye. It feels so right and yet so wrong. I am more than relieved once we get to Ethan's. He opens the door and turns to leave.

"Wait, you're leaving?"

After two years and the heartache he put me through, I can't believe I want him to stay.

'Yeah, I know you and Ethan are going to want some time alone."

He wiggles his eyebrows to make his point and I giggle.

"Yeah, that's true, but I plan on cooking for him and I know how much you miss home cooked food."

He smiles his always enchanting megawatt smile and decides to stay. Once we start to talk, it's like I'm that freshmen falling in love with the senior all over again. He tells me about all of his classes that he's passing and planning on starting his own company once he graduates. I'm in awe of how passionate he is about his future. As much as I love talking to Christian, I need to start dinner. I take out my iPod and start to play a song I can cook to. Lana Del Ray's Young and Beautiful begins to play. I don't know why I like this song so much, it just draws me in. I'm lost in the music and I don't realize Christian has entered the kitchen.

''I like this song, it always reminds me of you."

I hate when he says something sweet. It makes it hard for me to remember why I'm suppose to hate him.

"How does it remind you of me?"

"Well I know you've changed, but I can't help to see the shy freshmen with a smart mouth and the bluest eyes. So that's why you'll always be young and beautiful to me."

I notice just how close he is to me. I don't make a move to push him away because I don't think he's going to kiss me. Instead he touches my E-necklace Ethan gave me.

"I see you still wear this."

"Yeah I never take it off." He backs up just a little and try to make light of the situation.

"You mean to tell me you haven't taken it off in two years?"

I can hear the disbelief and humor in his voice. I go back and forth with myself on if I should tell him or not. I know where this conversation will go if I do.

"Well I took it off once."

"See I knew it."

Christian and I haven't joked around like this in years. I just want our friendship back. I know if I tell him it's just going to make things awkward between us again.

"The only time I've taken it off was your graduation party"

He becomes silent, I expected that. He looks like he's angry. I expected that as well, but what he does next is the last thing I expected. He slowly presses his lips to mine. It's light and gentle but holds so much meaning. I hate how this makes me feel, I want more. I slowly bring my hands around his neck pulling him closer. I can taste how much he wants this. We're lost in the kiss and we're lost in each other. I'm broken from my daze when I hear my phone ring. I look and see Ethan's picture flashing across my screen. I walk away from Christian to answer it.

"Hey babe. How's your day going?"

"Um, my day is going great."

"Well that's good. Listen I'll Skpe you once I get home, I'm just leaving class."

"Okay."

"Alright love you."

As if I didn't feel bad enough already.

"Love you too."

I hang up the phone and regret everything I've done in the last five minutes.

"Christian, I think you should leave."

"What? Ana you know how much I care about you."

"No you don't. You think you do. What happened should have never happened."

"So I mean nothing to you? That kiss meant nothing to you?"

I know if I'm honest with myself that kiss meant everything, but I will never tell him that.

"Christian, I won't lie, I love you and I'll probably always will -"

He begins to walk toward me and I raise my hand to stop him dead in his tracks.

"But I love Ethan more. I know you think you might love me, but you're too stuck in your ways to change. I don't know if you believe me when I say you're a close, dear friend, but you are."

I hope I don't start crying, lord knows I want to. I can't explain my feelings, I really do love him I just can't be with him. We stand staring at each other not knowing what to do next. I hear the door open and run to Ethan yelling surprise. I thank the high heavens I didn't start crying.

"Ana, what are you doing here?"

I realize at this moment how much I've missed my boyfriend's smiling face. I hug him, making sure he is as close to me as possible.

"Pleas tell me you're surprised."

"I'm super surprised. Hey Christian, I'm guessing you let her in."

Christian is standing behind us, arms folded with a smile plastered on his beautiful face. If I didn't know what happened a few minutes ago I would have guess this was a regular day between Ethan and Christian.

"Yeah I let her in, but I'm on my way out."

I can't really say I disagree that he should leave.

"Okay, well text me."

Just when I think this awkward moment is over, Christian has something else in mind.

"Ana, I was wondering if you could send me that song playing. I think it might just become one of my favorites."

There's something about his voice, it's laced with sorrow and regret even though he's smiling. I know it's wrong but the freshmen deep down inside of me is screaming and crying for him, but the young woman standing in front of Ethan lets him walk away.


	6. Chapter 6

**Just so you know this chapter is not edited.I loved every suggestion so I combined them. Like I said I will be starting this story over. It will be called THE STEPS MADE FOR US TO BECOME MORE. please review I won't remove this story until the new one is up tomorrow. I love you for reading **

Chapter 7 APOV

I hate myself right now . I feel like the worst girlfriend ever. Not only did I kiss another guy in my boyfriends apartment, but it was one of his best friends. I start chopping celery to get my mind off of it. I would hate to see what would have happened if Ethan would have walked in on us. I'm so lost in thoughts I don't hear Ethan talking to me.

"Ana, are you okay?"

"Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"You just seem distracted."

I stop chopping and slowly approach my boyfriend, not really sure if I should tell him the truth or keep it to myself. I brush my lips lightly against his with hopes that I would feel the same spark I felt with Christian. Sadly I didn't.

"Ana I couldn't be happier that you're here"

Of course Ethan would say something so sweet when I'm feeling so crappy.

"What can I say besides I've really miss my boyfriend."

"Well I've miss you to. Plus I have some really good news."

I don't know what his news is. It must be huge, he's bounching up and down like a small child. It's pretty funny. I giggle.

"Whatever your news is can it wait until after we eat?"

He joyful mood seems to take a nose dive. I wonder what's that about.

"Yeah I guess so"

Besides Ethan's mood going from joyful to nervous, dinner went well. I made Ethan's favorite beef stew and watched as he ate every single bite. I don't get to do much for Ethan with him being away. So making sure he's well feed is one of the thing I love doing when we're together. I clear the table and start the dishes. I guess I'm just trying to keep my mind off Christian. Oh wait Ethan had some good news and I completely forgot.

"Hey babe. What was your good news?"

He looks stuck alomost like he's gathering his thoughts. His words are slow and hesistant. I start to become nervous, the look on his face makes me panic.

"Ana when I said I had good news I guess I didn't really think about If _you _thought it would be good news."

" Ethan you're confusing me. Is it good news or not?"

"Well I got offered a job. I would be working at a good company with a huge salary. I could be one of the youngest executives."

Oh my god this is great. I know how Ethan feels about his career so I know this is a big deal for him. Wait this is good news so why does he look so defeated.

"Ethan I don't see the problem"

He sighs as If trying to find the courage to say whatever he has to say to make me understand.

"Ana the job is in England."

I still don't understand the problem.

"Ethan what's the problem? We have a long distance relationship now and it's just fine."

"Ana I can't be in a relationship like this anymore."

WHAT? This can't be happening. I love him and he loves me. Granted I love someone else but I've choose Ethan. I thought our relationship had meaning.

"So you're breaking up with me?"

He runs his hand over his face. A nervous tick he has, I should know we been together for two years.

"Ana you're still young. I can't ask you to put you're life on hold for me. You deserve to be with someone who can hold you and kiss you everyday. I can't do that if i'm in a different country."

I try not to cry. I will the tears to stay at bay ,but some how it doesn't work.

"So that's what you think of me? some young girl just waiting around for you?"

He tries to talk but I keep going.

"Ethan I love you that's why I've waited. I don't care how far apart we are I just want to know that you're mines and I'm yours."

He looks as if he wants to cries.

"Ana i'm so sorry."

He's what?

"You're sorry? I've gave you my heart, soul and virginity but all you have to say is sorry."

I can't be here anymore. I put on my jacket and grab my small suit case with hopes he won't stop me. I don't want him to give me a speech about how this is for the best. Us being together would be for the best if he really loved me.

"Ana wait, Where are you going?"

"I'm going to try and catch a plane home. But don't worrie, I'm not your girlfriend anymore so why should you care."

"Ana please just stay it's getting late. I'll drive you to the airport in the morning, let me do this for you."

Now he wants to do something for me.

"Ethan all I ever wanted you to do for me was love me and you couldn't do that."

I slam his door as if i want to break it. I'm so angry right now I want to punch something, yell and get into a fight. Once I get out of the apartment complex I walk not really knowing where to go. I feel lonely. I can't believe this is how my first real relationship ends. I can't hold it anymore and succumb to the tears caused by my heart break.

CPOV

I know I should let Ana go and I want to. It's just that every fiber in my body calls for her. I've never had anything like what I have with Ana. What is it about her? I can have anyone I want, so what is it? I've been racking my brain about this since I left Ethan's. Maybe It's her beauty I'm attracted to. That doesn't make sense, I've been with women just as attractive. This is so fustrating, I love someone and I don't know why. I don't even know why I care. Ana's with Ethan at this very moment, probably eating the wonderful dinner she made him, I don't want to think about what else their doing. I need to get over it. I hadn't realized how hungry I was. I'll just walk around and what ever fast food place catches my eye that's what I'll eat. I grab my keys, phone and wallet then I'm out the door. The hall way is quiet and empty just how I like it. I notice someone coming up the stairs as I'm going down. I hear what sounds like crying and see some one that looks like Ana. Wait, that is Ana.

"Ana. Is that you?"

She looks up and smiles, I know that smile. It's her smile she uses when ever she's trying to be strong. I wait until she reaches the top of the stairs and wrap her in an hug. I just hold her a while wanting to know what the hell happened. She finally pulls it together, Thank god.

"Christian I'm sorry. If you we're going somewhere I could come back."

She sniffles a little. I hate that she doesn't know I'll drop anything for her.

"Ana it's fine. Lets go back to my place so we can talk."

I hadn't notice her suitcase. Wait, why does she have her suitcase? I unlock my apartment and Ana pratically collapse in a fit of tears. I've seen Ana hurt before, just never like this. Even tear stained and heart broken she's beautiful. I can't stand this anymore.

"Ana please tell me what happened."

It takes her a few minutes.

"Ethan broke up with me."

It's barely a whisper but I heard it loud and clear. I'm floored and my emotions are bounching all over the place. I'm happy that she's single, Angry thats she's hurting and scared that I'm to stuck in my ways to be the man that she deserve. RIght now she needs a friend so I guess I'll start with that.

"Please don't cry. If you need me to go kick his ass I will."

she erupts into giggles. I could listen to that sound all day.

"Thank you Christian I really needed that. Listen I know this might be asking to much but I need a place for the night."

I think my heart stopped. I don't know if I could behave myself with Ana here over night.

"Yeah sure. You can sleep in the bed, I'll just take the couch"

See I could be a gentlemen when I want to be.

"It really means alot. I'll warn you now, I might just cry my self to sleep tonight."

"I refuse to let you keep me up all night with your sobbing. So we're going to open up a bottle of Jack and order a pizza."

Her beautiful face lights up. I wish I could make everything better for her , then again I'm not completely sure what really happened.

"I would really like that."

The next two hours go by in a whirlwind of liquor, pizza and heart break. I would never tell Ana ths but I think Ethan did the right thing by breaking up with her. I'm not saying I want her sad, I just want her to enjoy her life. Ana never acts her age. She's all about school and Ethan, well she use to be all about shcool and Ethan. Looking at her now who would have guessed this beautiful drunk young women in front of me is seventeen.

"Christian, this reminds me of your slumber party my freshmen year."

Crap! She's wasted. I know this conversation will bring up bad memiors. Still I jump in head first. The whiskey is clouding my better judgement.

"We had fun that night."

"No. You had fun that night."

Okay I get it I wasn't the nicest guy that night. Ana and I still manage to make a friendship, so I wouldn't say it was so bad.

"If I recall that's where you met Mia. She's like your sister now."

"Yeah, I guess that's true. Besides That night is when Ethan and I really connected."

GOD DAMMIT! I forgot all about that. The mood has sadden and Ana looks like she's on the brink of an emotional break down. I start to panic, I hate when women cry in front of me. I do the only thing I can think of. I crash my lips to hers, not quite sure if she'll push me away. I've kiss many women and it never felt like it does wit Ana. Her lips are warm and soft. Her hands are urgant but steady.

"Ana, wait. Are you sure you want to do this?"

I would hate to do something only to have her regret it in the morning. She doesn't answer. Instead she pulls me in close and kisses me. That's all I need to be sure this is the right thing to do. I love this girl and refuse to fuck her on a couch. So I take her in my bed room. I make little work of her clothes and proceed to kiss every each of her perfect body. I want he rto memeber this as more then just a fuck.

"Ana I love you. This isn't just sex for me."

"I know Christian I love you to."

I think she means it, no I'm sure she means it. I look into her blue eyes and see the purest kind of love. I can't believe I have her here with me rigth now, I'm truly a lucky man. I push into her ever so slowy and still myself. She takes a sharp in take of breath. She's so warm and ready I almost lose It. I pull back a litlle and ease back into her, I want to be gentle.

"Please Christian, go faster."

If she wants faster, She'll get faster. I pump into her as fast as I can go, it's heaven. She rolls over so she's on top straddling me. She pushes herself up and I grab her hips as she pushes back down. I reach one hand out to rub her nipples.i feel her insides gripping my manhood, this is going to be over soon and I just want it to last longer. I lay her back down and go as slowly as just wraps her arms around my waist, holding me as close to her as she can get me. I feel so safe and loved at this very moment I vowel to best the best man I can be for her, with that though I climax, Ana follows calling out what sounds like my name.I want to say something sweet, what comes out is anything but.

"Wow."

I know I should say more, that's just the first thing that came to mind.

"That was amazing. I use to dream about what it would be like with you."

I laugh.

"Who would have thought sweet Anastasia Steele had sex dreams."

We both start to laugh.

"I'm not that sweet freshmen anymore."

"Maybe not,just remember what I told you. You're always going to be young and beautiful to me."

She starts to kiss my chest making her way down my stomach. I feel her warm mouth wrap around my length, god how deep can she take me? When she gets me as hard as she deems fit, she climbs on and takes me back to heaven. The next mornig I have a horrible hangover, can't really say I mind since Ana's wrap around me like a vine. she's still sleep,like I'm suppose to be.I hear a knock on the door, at this very moment I couldn't care less about whoever it is but their beginning to knock louder. I remove myslef from my sleeping beauty and answer the door. Who ever it is better be dying. I swing the door open only to find Ethan.

"Hey Ethan whats wrong."

He looks horrible. He has on the same clothes from yesterday and if I had to put money on it,I would say he has been crying.

"I can't find Ana."

I don't want to tell him she's here.

"I'm sure she's fine. Just call her later."

"You're probably right, Listen if you talk to her, tell her I'll stay if she wants me to."

NO! he can't stay. If he doesn't leave Ana might go back to him.

"Ethan you have to do what's best for your career. whose to say she won't break up with you next year."

"I get what you're saying but I love her."

'Ethan you said it yourself, she seems distant and sad. Maybe she been wanted to break up with you. I think you should just let it go."

One tear rolls down his cheek, I feel like crap.

"Christian I need you do do something for me if you talk to her."

"I'll do anything you need."

He takes a minute to compose himself.

"If you hear from Ana, tell her I won't go If she doesn't want me to. I love her more then my career. I just don't want us to be over. Tell her to call me today, I have to make my decision by morning."

I can't believe he's willing to throw his whole career away for her. I guess this is what true love looks like.

"Ethan, what if she doesn't call?"

"Well if she doesn't call, I'll take the job and be done with her for good. I don't want it to come to that so please if you talk to her tell her what I said."

"Sure Ethan, I'll make sure I let her know."

I watch as my dear friend leaves utterly heart broken. I don't know what to do, If I tell Ana I know she will go back to him. I can't lose her but I don't want Ethan hurt.

"Hey who was at the door?"

Damn she scared me. What should I tell her?

"Um it was just some guy I have a class with."

Well at least it isn't a lie.

"Oh. I thought it might have been one of your friends."

She wiggles her eyebrows up and down making sure I understand what she means. I can't help but laugh.

"I don't think I'll be needing anymore friends. After all, I have you."

I kiss her ever so lightly.

"Well I never thought I'll see the day Christian Grey would want only one girl."

"Yup I want you and only you, so get use to it."

I don't know why but at that very moment I notice that damn necklace. I guess she notices me looking at it. She pulls her hair to one side and turns around so I can unlock the clask and take it off.

"So I'm guessing you're done with Ethan."

"Yes. I wish we could be together, but he's leaving."

See I knew it. If he stays she'll leave and I refuse to let that happen.

"I don't want to talk about your ex, so freshmen how about round three."

I'm rewarded with her school girl giggle.

"Ok just let me check my phone."

Fuck! I'm sure Ethan left a thousand voicemails and text messages.

"Um I have a better Idea how about we get in the shower."

I kiss behind her ear and trail down to her shoulder while my fingers inch closer and closer to her core. I know exactly where this is going.

"Okay. BUt you have to make me breakfast afterwards."

On the way to the shower I realize I have two major things to do today. Fuck Ana senseless so she won't even think about a phone and make sure I delete every trace of Ethan out of her life.


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm sorry I took soo long to update. True blood came back on so it's safe to say I've been watching the marathon. Ana way I hope you like.**

Chapter 7

**cpov**

Ana has been with me for three days and I couldn't be happier. At first I was a little scared that she would find out about Ethan but she didn't; I've deleted every text, call and voice mail from her phone. I hate that I have to keep something from Ana, I don't really have a choice. If I told Ana and she went back to him I'll never get another chance. Speaking of Ana, where is she? I stop packing and walk around the apartment looking for her. I almost start to panic until I hear her voice coming from the hallway. Wait,why is she in the hall? I don't want to, but I feel the need to listen. I press my ear to the door as Ana pours her heart out to someone on the phone.

"No, He hasn't called me." Fuck! she's talking about Ethan. I think I hear soft sobs, I hate that she's crying over him. "I don't care if he called you, he should have called me. I'm the one whose heart was broken when he choose to take a job in a different country. I loved him and wanted to be with him forever."

Her cries become louder. I can't take this anymore, I stomp off towards my room to resume my packing. I knew it was a chance that Ana would still have feelings for Ethan, I guess I just thought after three days of me pouring my heart out to her our fate together was sealed. Now I feel like a rebound ;who she could up in leave any minute. I contiune to pack and my anger only continues to build. I hear her calling my name and debate on weather I should just tell her it's over. Who am I kidding? I've waited years to be with her, If she chooses to leave me for Ethan down the line so be it. I hear her soft footsteps getting closer to my bedroom; or should I say our bedroom. She opens the door and smiles her oh so special smile. It always seems to work on me, just not today.

"Christian, whats wrong?" Shit! of course she would know when something's wrong.

"Nothing, I'm just not too excited about going home for Thanksgiving." Yeah, that reason should work.

"Christian you're being stupid. Everyone will be happy to see you." As she says this she wraps her warm arms around my neck; filling me with false love.

"Of course you would say that. Everyone won't hate you, they'll hate me and think I'm the reason for you and Ethan breaking up." I remove her arms and sit on the edge of the bed. Ana being the sweet soul that she is doesn't relent.

"Christian, Please don't think that. Ethan choose to never talk about him leaving before he left. I love you, nothing will change that."

I wish I could beleive her, I just don't believe she loves me 100 percent. Wait, did she say ethan left?

"So, Ethan left already?"

With tears in her eyes, she nods her head. I hate that she's hurt, I just don't know what she wants me to do.

"Ana, we don't have to tell anyone we're together."

"Christian stop it please, I want people to know I'm yours." As she says this I feel her small hands pull at my belt, so for the next hour I pretend she's mine.

**Apov back in seattle**

I wish I knew what's wrong with Christian. He barely talked to me on the plane. I honestly hope he gets over what ever this is and soon. We've made plans to have dinner with my dad and his new girlfriend, then have dessert with the greys. I guess I should try to lift his mood a little before I go and get ready.

"Christian, I just want you to know I love you." There it is ladies and gentlemen, that famous Christian Grey smile.

"I love you to freshmen." I honestly hope he doesn't start calling me that again. I get out the car and head into the house grateful that he's out of his funk. upon walking in the house I'm engulfed in a hug from my dad. I don't know what brung this hug on but, okay.

"Hey dad I've missed you to."

"Annie I'm sorry about Ethan. I know that you were crazy about him." I guess I might as well get use to this.

"Dad i'm okay. He didn't love me enough to stay and I wouldn't want him to.I'm happy as long as he's happy." As I say this I realize how much I mean it."I know how Christian and I came about wasn't ideal, still I wouldn't change it."

I get a small nod from my dad. The day goes by so fast. Dad and I talked about his new girlfriend Bernice and I've told him about Christian and I. My dad wasn't surprised at all stating ,he knew we wanted to be together for years. I'm with someone that I love ,that loves me back just as much. Everything is perfect, right? So why does It feel like a storm is coming, and no one is safe. I hear a knock on my front door and I almost fall flat on my face trying to get it. I was hoping for Christian, sadly it's Kate.

"Hi Kate, what are you doing here?" Kate and I haven't talked since...Well I don't really know. She hung out with certain people I didn't like or vice versa. Once Jose left, I made a few friends but I was content as long as I had Mia, Even though she went to a different school.

"So it's true, You're with Christian?" Well I wasn't expecting the warmest of greetings from her but this is just rude. I step onto the porch; not wanting everyone inside to hear what will turn into a yelling match.

"Yes Kate I'm with Christian." I square my shoulders. I don't regret being with Christian and I refuse to let her make me feel bad about it.

"Wow, So how long did it take after you walked out on my brother. Or were you two already fucking? He loved you Ana, he would have done anything for you."

"Kate I don't see how this is any of your business."

"It became my business when you broke my brothers heart."

"Broke his heart? BROKE HIS HEART? I GAVE ETHAN MY HEART AND SOUL, NOT TO MENTION MY VIRGINITY. YET HE CHOOSE TO MOVE AWAY. I WANTED TO BE WITH THAT MAN FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, HE WAS IT FOR ME. I LOVE ETHAN AND I ALWAYS WILL, BUT I WILL NOT LET YOU MAKE ME FEEL BAD BECAUSE HE. LEFT. ME." I'm breathing heavy and I expect Kate and I to start throwing punches.

"So you still love Ethan?" I turn to the voice and I'm met with grey eyes full of hurt.

"Christian wait" He gets back in his car and drives away, with out so much as a glance back towards me. I need to clear this up before I lose him.

**Cpov**

I fucking knew it,Ana still loves Ethan. She expects me to be with her until he comes back, well fuck that. I'm Christian Grey, I'm no ones rebound. I drive around with no real distination. I see a old bar we use to go to, god I could really use a drink right now. It's quiet inside and almost empty. What did I expect on thanksgiving. I sit at the bar watching my phone ring. I know Ana wants to talk, I just can't not right now. I notice someone at the end of the bar. Wait, is that Elena.

"Elena?" I don't know why I hope it's her.

"Christian? Oh my god I can't believe you're here."

I think I've missed her, once I get a good look at her body I know that I've missed her. No, I will not do this to Ana. Yeah she hurt me, But I refuse to mess up something I've waited so long to have. Elena and I just talk for a couple of hours. She seems to be doing great. She says she loves LA and the only reason she's back because some guy she's dating has family her.

"So Christian are you with someone?" Am I ?

"Well it's complicated."

"Isn't it always with you?" she gets up from her bar stool and walks between my legs. She smells the same; jassmine and cherry blossoms. I hate to admit it but I want her.

"Elena I think I should leave." No matter how much I want Elena at he moment, I want Ana more.

"Christian, I know you miss what we had." I don't miss what we had. Even if I did, I love what I have now. I should tell her to stop placing sweet kisses up my neck and to take her hands of my dick, but I don't.

I'm not exactly sure when or how it happened but next thing I know we're walking across a hotel lobby. On the ride up to ELena's room she throws me against a wall, trailing kisses down my neck, I become hard all over again. I can feel her playing with my belt buckle, I know whats coming next. She drops to her knees and takes my length in her mouth. It starts off slow before she picks up her pace, taking me in deeper and deeper. I drag her off the elevator as soon as it stops. We don't even bother to turn on the lights once we're inside her room. I make little work of her dress; ripping it from her body. I grab hold of one of her nipples and wrap my mouth around it. She's moanong and begging for me to do this. I crawl in between her legs and rub my erection at the entrance of her sex. I enter fast and heard, she cries out something that sounds like my name. Nothings changed with Elena. She scratches and bites just like she did in high school. I can feel myself building right before Elena crashes screaming out her love for me. Watching Elena undone beneath me, I become undone myself; falling into a intoxicated slumber. I wake in the wee hours of the morning in search of my phone. SHIT! I have 15 missed calls and 10 text messages from Ana. I have one voice mail thats probably from Ana to. I unwrap Elena From me and walk in the bathroom to listen to it.

"_Christian, I don't know where you are but please come back to me. I know what you heard sounds like I might regret leaving Ethan, I don't. I love you and Only you. I've been yours since the first day we met. I just want us to be together. Please, please, please just give us a chance to be what we was always meant to be. "_

Her voicemail almost made me cry. I can't believe I let what happened last night even happen. I run around in a panic trying to find my clothes. Elena is still sleep, Thank god. I Take a cab back to the bar and find my car and drive like a mad man back to my parents house. It's 6oclock so no one should be woke. I tip toe threw the house trying to make it to my room. I open my bedroom door and eye the bundle laying in the middle of my bed. Pulling back the covers I see pale limbs and long brown hair. My guilt comes back full force. I plant butterfly kisses along her face. Her beautiful eyes open and grow big with surprise and tears.

"Christian, I'm so sorry for what I said. I love you please believe that." She brings her soft arms around my neck.

"I know Ana, I love you to." I hold my girlfriend as she cries tears of joy. I can't believe I did something that could no doubt break her seems like all I've done to her is keep secrets. I can't do this anymore, I'll tell Ana everything tomorrow I promise.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Apov

Christian's been acting so weird. We've gotten past the whole Ethan thing, so I don't understand why he's so distance. I called him about an hour ago so we could catch an movie, he said he'll be here but like I said... that was An hour ago. I know he cares about me, he always has. so why do I have this gut feeling he's hiding something from me. No Ana...don't do this to yourself, just be happy you're finally together. I want to be happy, I'm trying to be happy, It's just like every since we left boston things have changed. I'm holding on for dear life that we'll be okay, I just don't think Christian is holding on to. I decide to watch some T.V and wait for Christian. I'm fully dressed on a friday night with nowhere to go. As I'm flicking through the channels I hear the bell. I jump out of my skin thinking that it's Christian, Sadly it's Kate. If this bitch wants to fight she picked the right night.

"What do you want Kate?" If I sound pissed off it's because I am.

"Ana, I just wanted to say I'm sorry." I think I might have died. Kate never says sorry.

"Okay. That's fine, but what exactly are you sorry for?" Yeah Ana, Stand up for yourself.

"Please, Can I come in?" I open the door wider to let her in.

"Wow, Your house still looks the same." I don't know If I should say thank you or be insulted.

"And what the hell is that suppose to mean?"

"Ana calm down. I'm just saying it reminds me of our childhood."

Damn it. I was doing so good at being a bitch, Now she wants to be nice.

"Kate, I'm really not in the mood. so if you could tell me what this is about."

She takes a deep breath. "Ana, I'm sorry about what I said to you. I just knew how Ethan felt about you. I've always known how you and Christian wanted to be together, I guess I just figured Ethan's love for you would have blinded you from that." I guess Everyone knew how Christian and I felt about each other.

"Kate, Don't think I didn't love your brother. I just didn't understand why he would choose to breakup the way he did. We could have made another long distance relationship work, he simply didn't want to. I'm still sad about Ethan, But I love Christian, I've always loved him."

"I know I've been a very shitty friend to you the last couple of years, But I want My Ana Banana back." I try but nothing can stop me from bursting into a fit of giggles. No one calls me that but Kate, and I have to say I think I've missed it.

"Kate, I really missed my best friend. So if you could bring her back, that will be great." I see tears in the corner of Kate's eyes, and I know it's a few in mine as well.

"I've missed you to Ana. Besides I wanted to be here when you needed me the most."

"When will that be?"

"Now of course. I thought we could go out to get your mind off of him." I'm stuck, I have no idea what Kate's talking about.

"Get my mind off of who?" I watch as her brow furrows

"Christian of course. I felt soo bad when Elena told me what happened." I can feel my stumach turn into knots.

"What did Elena say?" She looks at me with guilt written all over her face.

"Ana, I'm soo sorry. I thought you knew. Christian told Elena he was going to tell you." I'm praying to the high heavens Christian didn't do this to me again.

"Kate, What the fuck did he do?"

Ten minutes. That's how long it took Kate to tell me all she knew. Ten minutes. That's how long it took for me to realize Christian will never Change. Ten minutes. That's how long it took for me to hate him. Ten minutes. That's how long it took for me to regret Every falling in love with Christian Grey. I begin to cry. I know, I know, It's such a girl thing to do. But I'm hurt dammit. I get broken up with then I get cheated on. I'm glad Kate's here, she's my shoulder to cry on right now. I'm on my second box of kleenex when I her his stupid voice.

"Ana, what's wrong?" Seeing him does something to me. I'm no longer sad, i'm Livid.

"You want to know whats wrong. MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND CAN'T KEEP HIS DICK IN HIS PANTS. I don't get it Christian, I thought you loved me. You said you wanted to be with me for years, But the the minute you see Elena all that goes out the window."

"Ana I do-" I cut him off not really wanting to hear it.

"Save it. Now get the hell out of my house and my life." He looks so hurt. Not that I really care, but his eyes are just so sad. He takes a few steps towards me, I take a few steps back. I guess he realize he's fighting a losing battle and decides to leave. I fall to the floor and cry. Why god? why did we every have to meet. I'm starting to think Christian and I was never really meant to be.

**Five years later Cpov**

I sit in my Ivory tower watching the day turn into night. I've done pretty well for myself, you know with being a college dropout and all. Grey enterprise and Holding is one of the biggest companies in the world. I should be happy...right? but I'm not. Scratch that... I'm content with my life, and contentment is not happiness. I've haven't been happy since Ana. I tried so hard to get her back after I fucked everything up, she wanted nothing to do with me. I called, texted and emailed for a year. She wanted no part of me. I can't really say I blame her, but she can't blame me for moving on either. We still see each other due to her bestfriend and my brothers relationship, but it's always a little weird. She has someone in her life as do I. My girl Ashley is sweet, smart and sexy as hell. She works at the hospital with my mom, We met and just hit it off. Ana's with some guy named Adam, he's an okay guy I just think he tries too hard to prove to me and Ethan that Ana is his. I laugh most of the time about it. Etahn has moved on, he's moved on to my sister but I rather he be with Mia then some jerk I don't know. All is well is my little circle of friends. Things were a litlle tense once Ethan came back, but he confessed he's allways had a thing for Mia so Ana was soon forgotten. strange enough Ana's and Ethan's friendship is way different then Me and Ana's. I know why our friendships are different, I just thought after all these years everyone would be over it. Ana was really hurt by what I did, and she had every right to be. Notice I said had. She moved on not even a whole year after we broke up, It took me two years to even think about going on a date before I moved on with Ashley. So why does she still treat me like I destroyed her life? The logical reason is She loved me so much and I broke her heart completely by doing what I did that she will always resent me. But I like to believe she still loves me and always will so that's why she can't stand to be alone with me,or be in the same room with my girlfriend without looking like she wants to rip her hair out. I'm broken from my thoughts by my phone ringing.

"Grey."

"Hey, it's Elliot. Are you home? I wanted to talk to you about something." Oh god ,what the hell is this about?

"Yeah I'm home."

"Good, I've already told Ana to meet me there see you in half an hour." What? did he just say Ana? What the hell would she come here for? I guess I'll just have to wait because Elliot hung up. I have to say, I'm amazed Elliot talked Ana into coming here. She never been to my home before. It's not like I never invited her and Adam, It's just she never accepted my invitations.I walk down the hall, past the three guest rooms until I reach the last room. I close the double doors and lock them, not wanting Ana to see what this room holds. Just then I hear the elevator ping and then high heels walking over the marble floors in the foyer. I know it's Ana, otherwise Taylor would have stop them in the garage and informed me.

"Hello! Is anybody here?" She yells from the other side of the foyer door. Once I finally make to the door knob, I take a deep breath and brace myself.

"Well isn't this a surprise." I guess you could call that me trying to lighten the mood.

"Hi Christian. Elliot told me to meet him here, He said it was important." That ever present blush creeps upon her lovely face.

"Yeah i know. Come in." I lead her into the main room and watch as her eyes begin to grow with surprise.

"Wow. Your place is amazing. I can't believe I've never been here before." She makes her way over to the windows.

"Well, you were always welcomed to come. you just never felt comfortable I guess."

"I just didn't want it to be weird with your girlfriend living here and all."

We stare at eachother with pure anger and some other emotion I can't put my finger on. I don't understand what her problem is. Yes Ashley lives with me, But she lives with Adam so what is the big deal.

"Listen Ana, I don't want to argue with you. We use to be so close, I know I messed that up, I just want my freshmen back."

I didn't expect her to laugh at me.

"Christian, you know how much I hate that name. But I never been happier to hear it."

After that,time just flew by. We caught eachother up on everthing that's been going on in our lives. She graduated from WSU last week. I told her I would have been there but no one told me about it. It's hurtful knowing that everyone I call a friend went to something so special and didn't bother to tell me. I guess I can't blame them, I'm always busy at work. Still I would have been there for Ana. While I'm sitting here thinking of all of this, I hadn't noticed the silence between Ana and I.

"Christian, Are you ok?" She places her small hand on mine. I feel warmth spread threw my body. This feeling shouldn't still be here after all of these years. I get up from the couch to get some distance between us. I see the hurt and confusion on her face, I don't mean to hurt her I just can't do that to Ashley. I don't want to be a cheater for the rest of my life.

"Christian, I have to say I'm surprised that you don't have a piano." This is her way of breaking the tension.

"Who said I don't have a Piano?" I fold my arms across my chest with a playful smirk on my face.

"Well I don't see one." I really missed Ana like this; playful and happy.

"wait right here." I walk to the room at the end of the hall and Unlock the door I just locked not to long ago.

"Whats in there?" Sheesh! I didn't even hear her.

"Nothing" I lie. That room holds my past. Ashley never seen inside that room, infact no one has.

"Christian, I know when you're lying." Of course she does.

"Ana, just drop it. No good will come from me showing you this room."

"Please Christian." She gives me those puppie dog baby blue eyes and I'm a goner

"Ana, if I show you this room you can't tell anyone." She nods her head and I brace myself not really sure what her reaction will be. I turn the nob slowly and open it wide for Ana to walk in. She stands stuck. She doesn't say a word, just stares. She walks around the room touching the large portraits Jose took of her that cover the walls and runs her fingers over the piano keys. She goes to the one and only shelf in the room and picks up the note she left me so long ago.

"Christian,why do you have all of this?"

I walk around the room with disregard.

"Well, It's simple really. I loved you, and then I messed things up and you ended it. I wasn't ready to let go, so this room is my peice of you. And this is the crown jewl." I show her the minature piano she gave me the night of my party that now sits in a glass case. She takes it with shaking hands and I think I hear a sob.

"Ana, are you okay?" she looks at me with so much raw emotion I think she's stormig over to hit me, instead she grabs my neck and kisses me. I don't know what to do, so I lose myself in her and her soft lips. She moans giving my tounge access into her mouth. This moment is perfect, so why does it feel so wrong. Ashley and Adam. That's why it feels like this. We can't do this to them.

"Ana, we can't do this." I take a few steps back from her to gain distance."We're both with other people. I don't want to hurt Ashley."

"Ashley? You don't want to hurt Ashley?." It's more of an statement then a question. "I wish you were this considerate when we were together."

I sigh."Ana-" She cuts me short.

"Christian it's fine. I understand that you love Ashley, I guess...I just wish you loved me when we were together." She looks defeated.

"Ana, I did love you, After what happened you didn't want anything to do with me."

"Of course I didn't. You Cheated on me, After telling me how much you loved me, you still cheated on me. Yet here I stand giving myself to you, but all you can think about is Ashley. " Her voice becomes louder with every sentence.

"In case you forgotten, I'm with Ashley now and You're with Adam. You can NOT blame this all on me Anastasia. You moved on from me _way_ before I moved on from you. So excuse me If I don't beat my self up about it." We stand glaring at each other, niether one of us wanting to be the first to speak. I bite the bullet.

"Ana, please don't think I never loved you... I love you. I always have and I always will.I just don't want to hurt Ashley the way I hurt you. I know it might not seem like it, but I regret what I did to you everyday." I said my peace, weather or not she cares or not is up to her.

"Christian-" We hear a very loud Elliot screaming my name. We leave my music room to see why he wanted to talk to both of us in the first place.

"Hey Elliot wassup" I look to Ana and see what look like tears in her eyes.

"Well... I wanted to talk to you both because,I'm thinking about asking Kate to marry me."


	9. Chapter 9

I tried to listen to Elliot, but it was pointless. The longer I sat the angrier I became. I don't understand why he would show me that room. Its alway been this way ; when ever im happy and in love here comes Christian piece of shit Grey, confusing my heart . I refuse to listen to what he has to say, if he ever really loved me we would still be together. None of that matters now, he has someone and so do I. So fuck him and that room. I want to rip his head off for everything he has ever done to me, and yet even now I feel pain in my heart that only he could cause. The fact that he can still bring me heartache only fuels my rising anger. Im broken from my thoughts by a hand waving in my face.

"Ana, are you okay?" Thats such a stupid question to ask. My anger has reached a boiling point and I feel it spilling over cause me to say the first hurtful thing that comes to mind.

"I HATE YOU. " I wait to let what I said sink in. I see hurt and sadness touch his beautiful face before he recovers to his always calm and collected self. "WE WERE TOGETHER ONCE UPON A TIME AND I LOVED YOU SO MUCH." I stop my screaming rant briefly remembering old times with him. "BUT YOU FUCKED THAT UP BY STICKING YOUR DICK WHERE IT DOESN'T BELONG. AND NOW WHEN I'M HAPPY YOU CHOOSE TO NOT ONLY SHOW ME THAT DAMN ROOM, BUT YOU CONFESS YOUR LOVE FOR ME ONLY TO REJECT ME"

He doesnt seem bothered by my word, but I can tell by the way he stands he's putting up a front.

"Ana,I dont know what you want. I know I mad a mistake which I apologized for, but You moved on as soon as we ended . You've distance yourself from me and I understand why but I've always wanted you in my life ; weather we were together or not. I'm sorry if the room upset you but thats all I have of you and I won't be ashamed of it. So please tell me what it is you want from me?"

I think for a moment before it dawns on me what I want. I don't say a word; instead I walk back to the creepy stalker room with Christian right behind me. I guess I shouldn't call it that,if he really loved me this room would be romantic,instead its just the ghost of a love that once was. I make my way over to the miniature grand piano and take it out of it's case. Christian stands by the door no doubt not knowing what I will do next. Before I can stop myself; I'm throwing the small piano to the gasps before rushing over to the remains of his precious keepsake.

"Anastasia,why would you do something so cruel"

My reason is simple. "I want to hurt you. I want you to feel the pain I've felt for years. I want you to cry yourself to sleep and hate yourself because you're suppose to be committed to someone and your heart screams for someone else. only then will you ever understand what you put me through." I stand my ground and hold my tears at bay. Something changes in Christian, he seems sad,lost but determined.

"It sounds as if you wish we never met."

"I guess you can say that." I have a horrible feeling this is going to take a turn for the worst. He sighs deeply before walking out of the room I follow behind more then ready to go home. He walks through the great room to his office,I stop at the elevator. Thank god it comes right away. I dont feel the need to say bye to Christian so I ride down to the garage only to receive a text from him.

~Im glad to have known you. Have a good life ~C.

He's so dramatic. Whatever was left of Anastasia and Christian is nomore. If im honest with myself I can't say I care.

A/N I know I know. I haven't updated in forever and the chapter is short but promise to do another tomorrow.


	10. Chapter 10

1week later Apov

Walking into Kate's and Elliot's engagement party is both exciting and scary. Don't get me wrong, nothing an I mean nothing could make me miss something so special for Kate. I spot Ethan and Mia right away glued together by the face as usual. I should feel weird that my ex boyfriend and one of my best friends are together now,but I don't. They honestly love each other and who am I to stand in the way.

"Get a room, please" they jump apart immediately,blushing like crazy. Mia pulls herself together and gives me an followed by Ethan.

"Hey Ana, I'm so glad you're finally here. Wait, where's Adam?"

"He had to work. He said he'll try to make it." I hate being here by myself surrounded by couples.

"Oh well. At least you have me"

We share a laugh and play catch up before I spot Kate and Elliot in the middle of a deep conversation. Something doesn't seem right. Elliot looks upset and Kate looks equally pissed off. I hope they aren't having problems today of all days. I turn to Mia and Ethan with hopes they know whats going on.

"Hey, whats going on with Kate and Elliot." I watch as a frown falls upon Mia's face.

"It's Christian, he's leaving." I'm sure the shock is evident on my face. "He said something about he needs a change and something about a rut."

I don't believe this. He can not just leave.

"Mia, I sure he's not leaving for good. Think about it, who will run GEH."

"I think he might be serious, he gave me his Ralph Lauren pajama shirt." I try to let my brain wrap around what Mia just said. When Christian went away for college, Mia missed him so much he gave her his favorite pajama shirt to remember him by, Mia has guarded that shirt with her life.

"Mia, I'm sure he'll come back."

She gives me a small smile but I see just how sad she is to be losing her brother. I wonder around in search of Kate only to find her in the same mood as Mia.

"Are you okay Kate?"

"Not really. Elliot is so upset that Christian is leaving. No matter what I do,he won't cheer up."

I'm starting to think Christian might be serious about this. I take Kate and Mia onto the dance floor,soon we lose ourselves in the music. Song after song we dance as if we don't have a care in the world. Once a slow song comes on I realize Kate and Mia have been joined by their significant others. I decide to go out side and call Adam.

"Adam Stevens " whenever he answers the phone so formal I want to laugh.

"Hey "

"Hey babe, hows the party?"

"Its okay. I really wish you were here so I can have someone to dance with."

"I know but I'm saving all of my awkward dance moves for the wedding." I start to giggle. "Listen Ana, I have to go."

"Okay, see you when I get home." After my phone call with Adam I miss even more. On my way back into the party, I notice a pair of legs and honey blonde hair I know belong to Ashley. Please don't see me, please don't see me.

"Hi Ana." Crap! I guess I have to say hi now.

"Hi Ashley, I was starting to think you and Christian weren't coming." More like praying.

"Um, Christian and I aren't together anymore." What the hell? So he's leaving everyone. Strangely I feel joy bubble inside of me.

"I'm so sorry to hear that." Yup, I think I sound convincing.

"Thank u. Anyway, can you take my gift inside, I don't want to break down crying."

I take her perfectly wrapped gift and head back inside. I find Elliot an Mia talking by the bar. I ask if they knew about the break up they both said no. I don't understand what Christian is doing. Why is he leaving and where is he going. I cant beat myself up about it. We all begin to take shots. Half way through the fifth round of shot I spot Taylor walking towards us.

"Mr. grey, your brother wanted you to have this." With hesitant hands Elliot opens the small box and pulls out a car key. Not just any car keys, Christians R8 car keys. I don't know what to make of this. He loves that car, so why would he give it away. Taylor turns to leave not wanting for Elliot to a word. I head home after that. Not wanting to see Elliot sadder then he already was. I think long and hard about why Christian is doing this. He has everything, yet he just wants to leave it all behind. I guess I don't really have the right to care what he does.

I did say I hated him the last time we seen each other. I park my car and walk up the stairs to my apartment in need of a warm shower. I hear what sounds like ESPN and I know Adams home. Upon walking in the house I notice four large parcels against the wall.

"Hey Annie."

"Hey. What are these." I point to the packages

"I don't know, they have your name on them" Adam seems to be too wrapped up in whatever he's watching to even look away from the television. I take it upon myself to open them. Half

Way through unwrapping the package it becomes obvious what it is. I become frantic ripping off the paper of the other packages. When its all said and done I stand looking at something that doesn't belong to me. Jose portraits of me that once covered Christians walls now sit in my apartment. I don't what to make of this. My gut tell me this makes sense, I told him I hate him and wished we never met, why would he want to keep these reminders of me. Sadly the small part of me that I keep locked away in a deep dark dungeon is kicking and screaming for Christian. I have to tell myself this is nothing more then him just being mad, even if I know in my heart that isn't true.

A/N

I was suppose to post this yesterday but I started to reread NEVER LOOK BACK...PLEASE TURN AROUND. if you haven't read it I highly recommend it. As always reviews are welcomed.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N its a lot of time jumps in this chapter

1week later

Apov

I honestly didn't know what I was getting myself into when I agreed to be Kate's maid of honor. She takes me everywhere and anywhere that has to do with the wedding. Since she's my best friend I don't complain, so that explains why I'm sitting here stuffing envelope after envelope with wedding invitations. I refused to suffer through this alone, so I begged Mia to help. Going over the guest list I notice Elena Lincolns name and become instantly annoyed.

"Seriously Kate,are you really inviting Elena?" The rational part of me knows Kate just wants to be nice and invite an old high school friend, but the irrational part of me wants to punch Kate for even considering having that bitch anywhere near me.

" Ana calm down, she'll simply be a face in a sea of people." Sea of people is right, especially when Kate has two hundred people coming.

"As long as she stays away from me." I know I shouldn't hate Elena, yes she slept with Christian when we were together, but I'm pretty sure she didn't hold a gun to his head and make him do it. Speaking of Christian, I wonder has anyone heard from him.

"So has anyone heard from Christian?" Kate and I look at each other then a heartbroken Mia. She's taken Christian being gone the worst, aside from Grace.

"No, he hasn't called,texted, e-mailed or anything. Ros is taking care of GEH and we know he has Taylor with him but that's all we know." I should've kept my big mouth closed, I can clearly see Mia is on the brink of crying.

"Mia I'm sure he's fine. Besides you never know, he might come back as batman or something." Kate and Mia both erupt into laughter.

September 10

Its my birthday and I couldn't be happier. Adam has been at my beck and call all day. Kate has allowed me to take off from maid of honor duties, even though the wedding is in four months. Mia bought me a pair of shoes I can't pronounce the name of and Jose closed his gallery just to have dinner with me, I realize how much I'm truly loved. So why do I feel like this? I know why I feel like this, an certain person is still M.I.A. I should be happy that he at least called his family, but I've heard nothing from him. Oh well, I guess that's my own fault. I can't beat myself up forever, I stand by every word I said to him that night. I just thought he would have said happy birthday to me. He's never missed a year since I've known him, well he missed the first year but we barely knew each other. I finish getting dressed and Adam and I make our way to the restaurant. Upon arriving inside the restaurant I see the smiling faces of everyone I love. Tonight is just for me and I couldn't be happier. I can't believe Adam did all of this for me. I turn to thank him and notice he's on one knee. Oh crap!

"Ana I've never met someone as smart, kind and clumsy as you. You make me laugh and warm my heart when you try to watch sports with me even though its obvious you have no clue whats going on. I know I'll love you for the rest of my life, I just hope you'll love me back." He pulls a small box out of his pocket. I'm so nervous, I think I might be visibly shaking."Anastasia, will you marry me?" I don't know what to say. I guess I should go with my gut.

"Yes." The restaurant explode with cheers. Just then, I find myself thinking of Christian.

December 25

I thought you were suppose to relax around the holidays. All I've been doing is running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Adam and I spent thanksgiving in Philadelphia with his parents, so for Christmas were going to Portland to see Ray, but first I want to stop by the Greys to see Mia and Kate. Adam says he'll finish packing while I'm gone so I head out. The whole drive over I wonder how Grace must be feeling. Christian still hasn't come back. Everyone still has their fingers crossed that he'll come back for the wedding, but everyone prepared their self just in case he didn't. I arrive at Bellevue with gifts in hand. Mia opens the door way happier then I expected.

"Oh my god, Ana I'm so glad you're here." She drags me through the house.

" Mia, what is going on." She doesn't answer just keeps pulling until we reach the family room. I don't know what the big deal is. It's the same people as always, Grace, Carrick, Elliot, Christian, Kate and Ethan. Wait,Christian?

"Christian is that you?" Please god don't let this be a dream.

"Merry Christmas freshman." That's all I need before I'm jumping into his arms. I hug him so tight I think I might be choking him. I can't believe he's back, I've missed him so much. Like a kick in the head I remember the room, the kiss, the rejection and my engagement. I realize at that very moment how this must look. I reluctantly unwrap my arms from around his neck.

"I've really missed you Christian. We have so much to talk about." I just want to know where he's been.

"Sure you did. By the way, congratulations on the engagement." If you know Christian Grey like I know Christian Grey, you can hear his sarcasm and his anger.


	12. Chapter 12

**okay don't hate me, im sick as a dog and can't really concentrate so this chapter is literally thrown together. **

**P.s im thinking of adding more chapters to my story SHE'LL NEVER KNOW OF MY SHADES. If you haven't read It give it a try and tell me if you think I should take it further or leave it as is. As always love you for reading.**

**1FANtastic**

I've been sitting outside of Bellevue gates for ten minutes, mainly because I don't know what I'm going to say to my family. Its not like I can just show up and say hey sorry I left, here's your gifts merry Christmas. I know my mom and Mia took it really hard, but I'm sure they'll be happy to see I'm back. Taylor slowly drives down the driveway and parks in front. I shouldn't be this scared to see my family, but I am. I unlock the door and inhale the smell of my childhood home. Whatever worries I had soon disappear. I walk until I reach the family room. Its just Mom, Dad and Mia. everyone is passing around gifts. I catch a glimpse of Mia in my pajama shirt and begin to chuckle. Everyone heads snaps in my direction but no one moves. Becoming nervous once again I say the first thing that comes to mind.

"Before you kill me, I bought presents." Mom and dad start to laugh before getting up to hug me. The embrace from my parents makes me realize how much I really did miss them. I wipe a fallen tear from my mothers cheek. I take a step back and notice mia is still in her seat.

"Mia aren't you going to say hi to your favorite brother." She doesn't smile "Mia I missed you " I don't know what I said but she begins to storm towards me.

"You missed me? How could you have possibly missed me. You go away for months and all I got was one phone call. I thought we were closer then that, everyday you didn't come back or call we assumed the worst, so you can only imagine how we felt the last couple of months." I never meant to hurt Mia or anyone for that matter. I pull my little sister as close as I can possibly get her and rock her as she slowly cries.

"Mia, believe me when I said I really needed to get away. I promise to never leave that long again. Besides while I was gone I picked you out a lot of presents." She pulls her tear stained face out of my chest with a slight smile.

"Christian I love you."

"I love you to."

Once all the tears are done I tell them I've been in Aspen. Mia can't believe she didn't think of that my parents understand I must have really needed some space. Just when everything starts to calm down I hear a very loud Elliot. I honestly don't know how he's going to react, worst case scenario he'll punch me in the face. Within seconds he's standing no more the a few feet apart from me. He looks angry,confused and sad all at once. Without any warning I'm wrapped in a way to tight bear hug, I don't fight it instead I just let it happen. I guess once he realizes we're in a room full of people he tries, and I do mean try to compose himself.

" I never been happier to see your smug face."

Talking to Elliot is like I never left. He seems to to think I gave him my R8. I have no idea why, yes I did give him a R8 but that was a gift, I love my car way to much to just give it away. Ethan and Kate arrive shortly after and I go through the same reactions all over again. Once all the awkwardness subsides everything is like old times. Ethan and Mia looks hopelessly in love. Kate seems over the moon but I suspect that has everything to do with the wedding being in a couple of days.

"So Kate are you ready to be a Grey?" A huge smile covers her face.

"I'm really just ready for all this planning to be over."

"I'm sure you didn't do all the planning by yourself."

"No everyone helped me with the planning, I guess I got tired of hearing how much of a bridezilla I was." I share a laugh with my soon to be sister in law. "Besides I'm sure Ana will get the chance to repay me once she really starts planning the wedding." Wedding ? I'm sure the confused expression on my face doesn't go unnoticed since Mia and Ethan look at Kate as if she just ruined Christmas.

"What wedding?" Everyone is silent. Ethan seems to be the only willing to give me some kind of clarity.

"Ana's getting married. Adam proposed on her birthday." What the fuck? I don't know how to feel. I want her happy, but marriage?

"So do you think she's really happy." I know I can trust Ethan's opinion if I can't trust anyone else's. He looks me square in the eye.

"If you're asking me if I think her love for Adam is anything close to the love she had for you, then no. But she is happy, so let her be happy. Besides,I know better then anyone that she'll always find her way back to you." Everyone laughs a little. I guess I just have to leave it in the hands of fate. The rest of the morning goes by in a whirlwind of presents, laughter and joy. A knock on the interrupts briefly before Mia rushes off to answer it. I feel so happy to be home, I know the relaxation is only for today since I go back to GEH tomorrow, dont get me wrong Ros has done a wonderful job in my absence, still I miss my empire. out of nowhere Mia appears with Ana. I don't know what's going through her head as she scans the room. You would think she doesn't notice me. I can literally see the moment realization dawns on her.

"Christian is that you?" I want to laugh, who else could I be.

"Merry Christmas freshman." Next thing I know she's jumping into my arms. I don't know what to make of this, the last time she seen me she was so upset. I feel everything when she hugs me, but the one emotion that over powers the rest is anger. She's engaged, yet she still has her arms around me. When she finally pulls away, her ever present blush covers her face.

"I've really missed you Christian, we have so much to talk about." How the fuck does she miss me, I'm pretty sure when she's with her fiancee she doesn't miss me. My anger is rising to a boiling point and its spilling over into my tone.

"Sure you did. By the way, congratulations on the engagement." Its the only thing I can manage to say without screaming.


	13. Chapter 13

December 25 Apov

He's scowling at me. I mean he's the one that up and left, without so much as a see you when I see you, and yet he has the nerve to scowl at me. Granted he's probably shocked to know I'm engaged, but if he was here maybe I would have told him. I hate to say it and I really do hate to say it, I missed him. As if remembering why I'm here in the first place, I tear my eyes from Christians and ask Ethan to help get the presents out my car. I wonder where he's been, why he left and why he came back. But the one question that I must know is who the fuck told him I was engaged. Ethan stops me once we're outside , no doubt knowing I must be confused.

"Ana, I know what your thinking, and to answer your question Kate told him. That shouldn't matter, you're with Adam so why should it matter if Christian knows you're engaged." God damn you Ethan for making sense.

"It doesn't matter. I just wanted to be the one to tell him...Okay maybe it matters a little. I would never be ashamed of Adam, it's just complicated whenever Christian is concerned. Okay now I sound like a horrible person, maybe that does make me a horrible person?" We unload the gifts from the trunk and head back into the house. Ethan is the most honest person I know, so I know he will never tell me anything but the truth.

"Ana listen to me, that doesn't make you a horrible person, that just means somewhere inside of you is that love struck freshmen." We share a small laugh before heading back into the house. Exchanging gifts I come to the frightening realization I have absolutely nothing for Christian. Crap! Wait, I'm sure he didn't get me anything. Grace passes me a present from under the tree. Its small and once I look to see who it's from it says Christian. Double crap!

"Whose it from dear?" I check to see if it's really from Christian before I answer her.

"Um...it's from Christian." The minute I say it, everyone heads snaps in my direction. I can see the pure shock displayed on their faces. I'm hesitant to open it and I guess Christian picks up on that.

"For god sakes Anastasia, its not going to bite you, just open it." Very slowly I open the small box. I'm floored by it's content. Its a picture of Christian and I. Not just any picture, its a picture of Christian and I taken by Jose my second week of school. It really is a stupid picture, in the picture I have Christian in a head lock while he laughs at my attempt to try and choke him out. I remember the day Jose took this picture, we were bored in gym and Christian said something about me not being able to fight my way out of a paper bag, that picture is the end results. I smile at the memory. I look up and everyone is looking at me. Kate looks like she's dying to know what it is.

" what is it Ana." I'm pretty sure Kate is speaking for everyone. I remove the framed picture and turn it around, they all begin to laugh."oh my god, how come I've never seen this picture?"

"I wasn't aware Christian kept it." We turn to look at Christian who has a look of non interest on his face. I'm not fooled, this must mean something to him.

"Thank you so much Christian, its really nice, I wish I got you something." The room is silent, I don't know what to do. This is extremely sweet of him, yet he hasn't stopped scowling at me. Why does it always have to be like this, he does something extremely sweet and I don't know what to make of it. In a different world, I would throw my arms around him and never let him go, sadly we're not. I would never and could never do that to Adam. I start to gather my things remembering Adam and I have to leave soon. We all say our goodbyes and I head home. My drive is painfully silent. I don't know how Christian and I got to this place. If I'm really honest with myself I know why Christian and I are the way we are towards each other. I love him and he loves me, I know Christian made mistakes but I know he loves me. What we had was brief but it still meant something. Once back in my apartment I see Adam is finished packing and ready to leave. The drive to Ray house is normal as can be, Adam is his always happy self , that is until he realizes I'm not really talking that much.

"So, how was it at the Grey's." I don't think Adam is completely happy with how close I am with Grace and Carrick and the rest of the Grey's, he but accepts its because he knows their like family.

"Everyone is great,now that Christian's back." Very briefly I see annoyance cross his face." Oh, and he said congratulations on our engagement" Adam visibly relaxes.

"Wow, that's nice of him. So did he say where he's been?"

"No, well at least not to me." I probably should have asked Ethan.

"So do you think he'll get back with Ashley."

"I don't know, why ?"

"Well, I just don't want him coming back and taking my fiancee, and if he has a girlfriend that isn't possible."

I'm floored. I never heard Adam talk about Christian this way. I knew he wasn't his favorite person, but I never knew he felt like this.

" Adam, nobody would ever be able to take me from you." As I say these words I really do want to mean them, I just don't know how true they are.

"Enough talking about Mr. Money bags, I'm starving. I hope your step mother is finished cooking." Only Adam could jump from such a serious topic to such a stupid one. We drive rest of the way in silence. I begin to wonder, will Christian get back with Ashley. This is non sense, I shouldn't care, I'm engaged for heavens sakes. Me and Christian need to talk, I won't yell or storm off, I just really want to talk the person I was once so close to. It sounds simple enough right? Well it isn't, knowing how Adam feels I cant help but think if I spoke to Christian it will only end badly if he found out. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, do I talk to Christian and risk losing Adam or do I move on with my life as if I feel nothing for Christian Grey.


	14. Chapter 14

Cpov

I wouldn't say Christmas was horrible, but it most certainly wasn't good. I could not have been happier to be around my family, if anyone was still upset about my leaving they hid it well. Of course the most surprising news was Ana's engagement. If she thinks she's happy so be it. I can't obsess over her, yet here I seat doing just that. I thought the faster I jumped into work, the faster I would get over this emptiness I feel. I talked to my mom about it, after all it's the reason I left in the first place. She said what any mother would say, settle down , start a family, enjoy my life while I'm still young. I completely understand why my mother wants me to settle down. Elliot has Kate and Mia has Ethan, but I have no one. If I really wanted to settle down I guess I could have stayed with Ashley, I just didn't feel as if I was one hundred percent, head over heels in love with her. Maybe I'm just destined to be by myself, with only the memories of the truest love I've ever had. Or maybe I'm meant to fight for her, I just don't see the point in that. I fought for her, I cried for her yet she still moved on. Around lunch time Andrea informs me someone is here to see me. I don't have anything scheduled, and this spikes my interest even more. I give Andrea the okay to let whoever it is through. To say I wasn't expecting the person that stood before me in my office would be a understatement. I don't see this visit ending nicely.

"With all the wedding planning, how do you find time to visit me. How can I help you Adam." I stand behind my desk and put my hands in my pockets. I don't know what Adam wants and I really don't care.

" Ana told me you were back, so I just thought we should have a talk." He crosses his arms over his chest.

"And what do we need to talk about?"

"I won't drag this out, I know you're a busy man so I'll just say this once. Stay away from Anastasia." I almost want to laugh.

"Adam, is it a reason you feel the need to keep me away from Ana."

"My reason is simple, I know you love her but trust me the feelings are not mutual. Ana loves me, so much that she agreed to be my wife. So, whatever feelings you have for Ana need to end today."

The nerve of this man is astounding. Anastasia can lie to everyone and maybe even fool herself into thinking she doesn't love me, but I know better.

"Adam in all honesty, I don't fucking care if she agreed to marry you. Anything can happen between now and your wedding."

" That's just my point. Anything can happen, after all accidents happen everyday. I would hate for something to happen to you, or worse to Anastasia." I think I'm hearing things, He would never do anything to Anastasia.

"If that's your idea of a joke, I don't find it funny."

"It's not a joke at all. You see Christian, I love Anastasia with all my heart, and I could never live without her, I guess what I'm saying is, If I can't have her, no one can." I might have finally gone crazy, this man standing in front of me can not possible be the nice, sweet guy everyone has come to know and love.

"I don't know if you took your meds today, but you sound fucking crazy."

"Well love does make people a little crazy I guess. I just thought I should warn you"

"If you think I'm not going to tell Ana about this you're crazier then you sound"

"By all means Christian tell her. She'll think you're just jealous and trying to ruin her happily ever after. Besides who do you think she'll believe? me; loving, caring fiance or you ; cheating ex boyfriend, who disappears for months at a time." I know I haven't been the best friend to Ana but surely my word is just as good as his.

"Adam, if you value your face, I advise you to leave before I beat it to a pulp." I make sure he knows I mean every word I say. The smug little ass hole smiles and turns to leave.

"Oh Christian I almost forgot, I'm sorry about the pictures" I furrow my brow in confusion. " you know the ones Jose took. I was cleaning the apartment when I accidentally got bleach all over them. Like I said sorry." By the time he leaves I'm beyond pissed. What gives him the right to come into my office and threaten me? And if he ever lays a figure on Ana, I'll kill him. If he thinks for one second this is over he is highly mistaken.

"Andrea, get Welch on the phone, tell him I want anything he can find on someone named Adam Stevens." I need to know everything I can about this man before i let the love of my life marry a fucking physco like him.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N

I feel crappy for not updating but between my other story and my new favorite story to read DECEIVED I lost track of time. Heads up I was going to make this the last chapter of this story and make a sequel but I figured you guys might kill me so it will be more chapters to come. Happy readings

Cpov

I've been furious since my little talk with Adam. To make matters worse Welch couldn't find anything on him, he like a perfect fucking Angel. It's hard to describe how I feel right now. My first reaction is to rip his god damn head off. I know the right thing to do is talk to Ana but she's making it impossible. My calls go to voicemail and my text messages get no response, so I had to use my last resort and have Welch track her phone. The moment I knew where she was I didn't think twice before I was in the car, not giving a fuck that she was picking out wedding dresses. I stand outside the bridal boutique debating whether or not this is a good idea. I know it isn't but I at least have to try. I open the door and quickly find Kate and Mia. Mia looks surprised to see me and Kate storms towards me as if she might take a swing.

"Christian Grey, I can't believe you would come here of all places."

"Kate, I'm not here to start trouble. I just really need to talk to Ana."

"You listen to me and you listen to me good, It's taken a lot for her to get passed whatever you two had, she's happy now so leave her be."

"I don't care what anyone says, she isn't happy. I know her almost as well as I know myself. I don't want to ruin her engagement, I just want to talk to her."

Mia comes and stands between Kate and I,doing her best to be the voice of reason.

"Christian, Kate's right. I witnessed how hurt she was when you cheated on her. It broke her and Adam helped to put her back together." Enough with Adam, everyone think he's a fucking saint. Meanwhile he's threatening my life.

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ADAM. AND I'LL BE DAMN IF I LET THE LOVE OF MY LIFE MARRY HIM." I'm seething with anger, I almost don't spot a bundle of white chiffon in the corner. I hear a small gasp before I turn to face Ana. She has on a gorgeous white wedding gown the makes her look like a Angel. She looks absolutely beautiful, minus the fact that she's crying. She gathers up the bottom of the dress mumbles something to Kate and Mia before they leave and Its just me and her. I could always read Ana, but I can't make out what it is that she could be thinking right now. She looks angry but she's crying.

"Ana, I just want to talk."

"Talk? Now you want to talk? And what could you possibly want to talk about?" She crosses her arms over her chest tears still streaming down her face.

"Ana, please don't cry." I take a few steps closer and wipe a fallen tear while she leans into my touch. Feeling the always present electricity that connects us.

"Christian... please don't do this." Its almost as if she's begging, but I have no idea what she's talking about.

"Anastasia, what am I doing?" I've noticed I'm still slightly caressing her cheek but made no move to stop.

"This" she waves her arm in between the both of us. "You can not come here and say I'm the love of your life. We tried and it didn't work, I can't jeopardize my engagement for you,simply because you realize your losing me forever." As she says this she walks out of my reach.

"Ana, you can not marry Adam, he isn't what he seems. He came to my office and told me to stay away from you, and if I didn't he would hurt you." I don't know how Ana will react, so I brace myself for the worst.

"Christian I know you might not like Adam, but he has never hurt me. We been together for four years and we've lived together for two of those years. He is everything he seems to be." This is exactly what I didn't want to happen.

"Ana, I'm telling you the truth."

She storms Off into a dressing room slamming the door in my face. I can't believe she doesn't believe me. I would never lie about something like this. I can't take it anymore, I enter the dressing room and find Ana half way out of her gown.

"Christian, what are you doing?" She covers her chest with her arms. I walk towards her as slow as possible until I have her pressed up against a wall. I don't touch her I just press my body against hers basking in the warmth radiating from her.

"Ana, I know I hurt you and I know we haven't been on the best of terms these last few years. But you know me, and you know that I'm telling the truth. I don't care if you end up with me, just please don't marry him." I lean in closely, never taking my eyes off of her. She doesn't move, she braces her self for what is to come next. I kiss the corner of her mouth and watch as her breath hitches. She grabs the nape of my neck and holds me into place while we kiss each other with need, passion and love. We live in the moment devouring one another's taste. I push her gown the rest of the way to the floor, watching it cascade into a puddle around her feet. She pushes me away almost angry.

"Christian, I can't. I'm engaged to a great guy, why would I mess that up for someone who hurt me so much."

This is what it boils down to, My past mistakes. If I ever want Ana to trust me, I'll have to tell her the dead honest truth.

" I feel as if it was always meant for you and I to be together Anastasia, granted I made mistake along the way and I'm sure I made you cry more times then I know of, but I love you Ana...with all my heart and soul. If I ever got a chance to go back and change time I would, but this is the real world and all I can promise you is my friendship, honesty and love for as long as you want it."

She lets my words sink in only to allow a new wave of tears to pour from her eyes.

"Christian, I don't know what to say. I love you but I don't know if I could ever trust you. How about this... we'll have dinner and talk about. But first I'll have to have a talk with Evan, I find it highly unlikely he would threaten you."

I can see she's trying to compose herself and doing her best to keep a brave face.

"Ana, I swear I'm telling you the truth, how do I know Jose pictures were destroyed." She makes a face as if she's putting two and two together.

"Still, I think I should talk to him." Realizing I'm fighting a losing battle, I say my goodbyes with hopes we'll have dinner. I walk out the dressing room and notice a very concerned Kate and Mia steering at me with faces full of mixed emotions. I simply wave to them before I jump in my car and head home. I feel hopeful. Once Ana sees how crazy Adam is she'll leave him and we can finally be together, no cheating, no lying just the two of us. Stopping at a red light I remember Ana in that wedding dress and smile. Out the corner of my eye I notice a red car pull along side of me, before I can comprehend whats happening I hear five gun shots, shattered glass and the screech of tires before darkness consumes me.

A/N

I know I might seem like a bitch for making this chapter short and ending it so dramatically but hey what can I say I love cliffhangers.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N

Please don't hate me but SHE WILL NEVER KNOW MY SHADES is kinda kicking my ass, so this chapter is something from me so you won't have to wait days for a update.

As always reviews are welcomed, if you have any questions just send me a message.

Sincerely 1FANtastic

Apov

I stand shell shocked from my closeness to Christian. He seemed so sincere and honest, but with Christian I never really know. I wonder why Christian said Adam threatened him. I'll be the first to admit Adam doesn't exactly like Christian, but I think any guy I'm with romantically will feel that way. In my hearts of hearts I know I want to be with Christian, and I suspect it'll always be that way.

I just don't trust him, but after everything he put me through who could blame me. Still I can't possibly marry Adam if I know I love someone else. I wish he was here so we could sit down and talk about it, but he's all the way in New York on business. I guess I could wait but this is important and it should be dealt with right away. What I have to do is clear, I'll just fly to New York, sounds simple enough.I leave the bridal shop and jump in my car. I'm scared but its completely worth it to finally be with Christian. On my way to the airport I see cop cars and a ambulance but drive around. I hope no one is hurt too badly. I never been so scared and excited in my life. I know I might break Adams heart but I couldn't marry him and be miserable for the rest of my life. After the usual airport nightmare and a not so pleasant flight I land safely in New York. I run every possible scenario in my mind and all of them have me destroying someone who loves me,but they also end with me being with the one person I really care for. I catch a cab to Adams hotel and after saying one more small prayer, I catch the elevator up to his room. I walk down the long hall until I'm standing in front of his door. I knock timidly and hope that maybe he's with another girl, that way I wouldn't feel so bad. Once he opens the door I see he's by himself in his lay around sweat pants and his Penn state t-shirt.

"Ana? Baby what are you doing her?"

He wraps me in a big Adam bear hug. I've come to love these hugs over the years but now they fill me with guilt.

"Adam, we need to talk" Adam's pretty smart so he probably knows nothing good comes after that.

Grace POV

I stand next to my sons unconscious body praying for him to wake up. My world stopped the moment I seen his blood covered body on that stretcher. His surgery took a few hours to remove the bullets, and Dr. Smith said he should recover. So for the life of me I don't understand why he's still unconscious. As the last nurse leaves his room I pull up a chair and place his cold hand in between both of mines.

"Christian, if you can hear me,please wake up... I am not prepared to lose you, so you can not leave me yet. I love you entirely to much to let you go so easily. please Christian, please try to pull through, I love you sweetheart, and don't you ever forget it."

As I cry I feel Carrick's hands on my shoulders, trying to give me much needed comfort. I turn around and weep into my husband chest.

"Oh Carrick, why wont he wake up."

I am praying for the best but I know I should always prepare for the worst.

Elliot POV

While my mom and dad leave Christians side for the first time, I step slowly to his bedside not really sure what to say. Mom keeps talking to him, stating that maybe he can hear. I don't see the harm in trying. I take a deep breath and try to gather my thoughts.

"Bro, I need you to wake up. I get married in a matter of days and I need my best man beside me...I keep telling myself, it's No way you're going to die and leave someone else in charge of your company, but its been almost twenty four hours so I'm starting to lose hope." Just thinking about my little brother not being here anymore brings a tear to my eye. Christian doesn't deserve this, okay so sometimes he can be a dick but over all he's a good person. My sadness is replaced by pure anger and hatred. "Christian I promise you, I'll find who did this to you and they will pay. You have my word."

Mia POV

Its been a little over twenty four hours that Christian has been unconscious and this is my first time to see him. At first I couldn't bare to see him so pale and lifeless, But I realize this might be the last time I see him so I have no choose. I enter his hospital room with Ethan close behind. He's my support but Christian is his friend and he's been taking it hard also. My mom, dad and Elliot all look as if they have been crying, and I don't blame them. As I get closer to Christian its almost as if I don't recognize him. The man that lays in that bed is not my brother. By the time I'm by his side, I'm a trembling mess of tears.

"Oh Christian." I try to say more but my crying becomes louder. "Christian, please fight this. I know you and you would never give up without a fight. You are my brother and I just got you back, so I'll be damned if I lose you again." Ethan pulls me into his arms and Elliot wraps a arm around my mom. I honestly don't know what we'll do if Christian doesn't make it. But I know we'll never be the same.

Ethan POV

Its been thirty hours since Christian has been unconscious. The Grey family has gone home to rest and shower, I suspect they'll be back as soon as possible. I stayed behind to talk to him, but I don't really know what to say.

"I know I'm suppose to talk to you but it just seems weird. I know you're going to pull through. And if you do I promise we'll have dinner ever Monday, Wednesday and Friday just like in college."

I smile thinking about old times with Christian and become sad thinking about how things have changed. Not just between Christian and I, but between Christian and everyone. Once Christian started his company, he stopped hanging out so we stopped asking. Even after GREY HOUSE was established, we excluded him more and more. He was a CEO so we didn't think he would mind missing a dinner here or a graduation party there. And I guess as time went by we lost track of him, and the sad part is until he left for Aspen, it didn't bother anyone.

"Christian, I know things have changed but you're still one of my best friends and I'll be heartbroken without you. Fight this, please. No one is ready to let you go." I wipe a stray tear that has fallen. "Besides you have to pull through so Ana doesn't marry that prick Adam." If he don't hear anything else, I know he'll hear that.

Cpov

My head is pounding. I don't remember what happened but it seems like a dream. I heard my family and what sounded like a lot of crying but I have no idea what they might have been crying for. I hear beeping and try to turn my head to find the source but fail. Everything hurts like hell and my body parts feel so heavy. I feel what feels like a hand on top of mines. Its so warm and gentle. I hear a soft voice call out my name. I want to open my eyes but it's nearly impossible. I feel the warmest of lips touch mine and a hand rake through my hair. I open my eyes slowly and come face to face with blonde hair and red lips that always seem to pop up whenever I think Ana and I might stand a chance.


	17. Chapter 17

Cpov

Elena has got to be the last person I'd thought would be here when I opened my eyes. She looks the same, her hair is longer but she's still the same Elena.

"Where's my family?"

"They went home to change and rest up last night, I'm sure they're on their way back." That still doesn't explain what she's doing here.

"What do you want Elena?" Excuse me for being rude, but I've been shot and I woke up to a ex girlfriend I'd rather not see.

"Calm down Christian. I'm in town for the wedding and Kate told me what happened, Is it so wrong for me to want to make sure you're okay?" She's all false concern, typical Elena.

"As you can see I'm fine, so you can go." She doesn't budge, She looks a little irritated.

"I know who you thought would be here...I don't get it, what is so damn special about your precious Anastasia. You ignored her when she clearly was head over heels in love with you, then you cheat on her and now she's engaged so you don't stand a chance. Yet you still had hope that she would be by your side the minute you opened your eyes." She says it with mocked pity. I don't say a word. Fuck Elena.

"Get the fuck out Elena. I'm in no condition for this"

Once again my words fall upon death ears. Elena takes a few steps closer to me, unbuttoning the the top buttons of her shirt along the way.

"Christian, I know you loved every time we were intimate." She runs her hand up my thigh, brushing dangerously close to my penis." Just let me take care of you."

Elena has completely lost her mind, I'm in the hospital for Christ sake.

We hear the click of the door and I notice a very pissed off Jose. He looks between Elena and I before his whole demeanor changes.

"Elena, I think it's best if you left." I don't know Jose all that well but he looks like he means business. Very reluctantly Elena removes her hands and buttons up her shirt. She pins Jose with a icy glare before leaving. Jose pulls up a chair beside my bed.

"So, now that she's gone, how do you feel?" I give him my best how do you think look and he doubles over in laughter. I want to join in with him but the pain radiating from my shoulder won't allow it.

"Jose, I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but what are you doing here?" I'm glad to see a friendly face, but I would rather see my family.

"Ana told me to check on you."

"And why exactly couldn't she check on me herself?"

"Well, she had to fly to New York and the plane ride back took longer then expected."

"Why the hell was she in New York?"

"Her and Adam really had to talk I guess."

Everything comes back to me at once. Adam, the threat, the bridal shop. I sit upright way too fast making pain shoot all over and a couple of machines behind me start to beep. I swear I'm going to ring that piece of shits neck.

"Christian calm down, let me get a nurse."

"No. Get my head of security and Call Ana and make sure she's okay. And for the love of Christ where the hell is my family."

I know I have no reason to yell at Jose. I just have things to do but instead I'm stuck in a damn hospital.

"Okay, I'll be right back. Please just don't try to sit up." He runs out the room.

Apov

As I walk in the hospital I say a silent prayer that Christian is okay a single tear falls from my eye. I asked Jose to check on him for me since Kate was M.I.A. Being the dependable person that I have grown to love, he agreed. I wish I could have been here, I just had to sort things out with Adam. He wasn't as mad as I thought, he simply told me good luck with Christian, as if I have I love Christian written across my face. I know once he comes back home we'll have to figure out what to do with our apartment, but for now I'll take the calm before the storm. As I walk by the waiting room I see a woman with long blonde her. Wait...is that Elena? She leaves her chair and strides towards me.

"Well well, so you finally came."

I really have time for this high school, mean girl act.

"What are you doing here Elena"

"To check on Christian of course. I have to say, his lips are as soft as I remember." I know what Elena is trying to do, but it won't work.

"Elena, I'm going to tell you this once, stay the hell away from Christian. He doesn't want you ,he wants me, he doesn't need you, he needs me and trust me he doesn't love you, he loves me. So if you come anywhere near him I'll make you sorry" we both look like we're ready to fight. I hear someone calling my name and find a out of breath Jose.

"Ana, I'm so happy you're here. Christian is woke, he told me to get his head of security but for the life of me I can't find him."

"Jose calm down, Taylor is with his family and they're all on their way." I watch as Jose relaxes. We start to walk in the direction of Christians room. Leaving Elena in the waiting area not giving a fuck if she leaves or not. As I enter his room I almost want to laugh, you can tell he wants to be anywhere but here. I giggle a little and his head snaps in my direction.

"Ana? I'm so happy you're okay. I thought Adam might have did something to you?" I seriously don't understand why Christian thinks Adam is dangerous.

"Well I'm fine. And before you get Adam arrested for this...I just want you to know that he's innocent."

"Yeah right. He threatens me to stay away from you, and once I come from seeing you I get shot."

I know it sounds bad once he puts it like that, but Adam is innocent.

"Christian, Adam left for New York seven o clock this morning, trust me I seen him get on a plane with my own eyes."

He doesn't say anything, but you can see his brain working over time.

"Fuck! So who the hell did this? Where the fuck is Taylor!" He's yelling and banging his fist. I grab his face with both my hands and look deeply into his eyes, trying my best to calm him.

"Christian calm down. We'll find out who did this, I promise." He exhale and his shoulders visibly relaxed. I lean over to kiss him gently. His lips are so soft and warm just like I remembered them, and to think I could have lost him. The door opens and a doctor marches in, behind him is Ashley. I can see the joy in her eyes from Christian being woke, but I also see the hurt in her eyes that he's here with me. Still, she doesn't say a word, simply goes about checking machines while the doctor explains exactly what happened. I can feel Ashley eyes on me the entire time. I couldn't be happier when the Grey's get there with Taylor. Everyone's in tears with the exception of Kate who is fighting tooth and nail not the shed a tear. I have a serious bone to pick with her. I make my way to her hating to leave Christians side.

"Kate we need to talk." We step out of the room closing the door behind us. I take one glance back noticing Mia practically curled up completely next to Christian.

"Whats up Ana?"

"Did you tell Elena about what happened to Christian?"

"No...I know Christian doesn't exactly like her anymore and this was serious, its not like I would gossip about this to her. Why do you ask?"

Cpov

I can see the worried look deep in my family eyes. I can't even begin to imagine how it felt for them to see me unresponsive and lifeless. But everything is okay now, granted my right arm and shoulder has three gun shot wounds,still everything is okay. My mom wipes away tears as Mia tells me how scared she was thinking about losing me, I think she speaks for everyone. Elliot sits right next to my bed not saying a word, but I know he just wants to feel close to me and I don't blame him. I love my family more then anything, so to think they were sick with worries because someone tried to take me away from them way before my time makes my blood boil.

"Taylor, what do you know?" Taylor is my head of security for a reason, if anyone can find out who did this, it'll be him."

"So far sir, all we know is the car the shooter was driving was a rental and they used a fake name, so that's a dead end. The surveillance from the street cam doesn't show the shooters face but Welch and I are certain it was a woman."

Woman? Why on earth would any woman want to do this to me, a better question is what woman on earth would want to do this to me.

**The ending pf ythis chapter is simply to keep you guys guessing. I know your reviews will be hilarious and wity, I cant wait to read them. And for the few who think they know the identity of the shooter, I can tell you now that you're WRONG.**

**Let the guessing begin. Thank you for reading**

** Sincerely. 1FANtastic**


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